"In Only A Perfect World..."

For those of you don't know, I'm originally from the Jersey Shore. I guess there never was an Old Jersey Shore, because the "new" preface wasn't necessary. In my youth, I worked on the boardwalk in Seaside shilling ice cream. I made out with girls on the beach, even in frigid December. (Even proposed to one in a more recent and even more frigid December.) I raged against the coming of the BENNIES. I rotted my teeth with salt water taffy and zeppolis. But most importantly, I loved skee-ball. Rolling wooden balls up slanted ramps in vain attempts to land them in the 50 or 100 point holes, now that is pure bliss to me. Saving up a summer worth of tickets to buy objects that would be shunned at any respectable garage sale, that was my childhood.

If I had my way, in only a perfect world, I would open a "Skee-Ball Bar." No pool tables, no darts, not even a go-go dancer. (Ok, maybe one go-go dancer to add a touch of class to the joint.) Just skee-ball machines. And the tickets? Redeemable for drinks. For alcoholic drinks, of course.

Ahhh.. sweet nirvana. A skee-ball bar.

Unfortunately, insurance for a place like that would be astronomical. Even though the balls from billiards are made of denser material, no one would be worried about drunks hurling those around the room. They would be concerned about the "mullet" crew coming in and raising havoc with my precious skee-balls. Yes, I could see the broken bones and concussions now.

Plus, the novelty of such a place wouldn't hold. Hell, I'd get sick of it after a short while and I love the game. But, the memory would be better than the actual experience. It's like Pong. Sure, it would be fun for a game or two, but then you switch back to Grand Theft Auto. Maybe if you could play skeeball in Grand Theft Auto - and then start nailing people in the heads with those wooden balls. Yeah, that would work.

Man, I could really go for a zeppoli right.

wojr

Labels: Advice, Nostalgia

  ¶ 4:43 PM