"No, Jeff Bridges was in Tron, Barry Bostwick was in Megaforce -- as ACE HUNTER"

On the way to work today, I saw two ads for "Scooby Doo 2." After some thought, I began to fell badly for all the poor parents that are going to get dragged to that train-wreck of modern cinema. All the fathers waiting desperately for Linda Cardellini to get in that skin-tight red vinyl outfit and offer them some brief respite from their 95 minute hell. Knowing full well that they cannot get that time back. Ever. That they paid good money to edge themselves 95 minutes closer to their death.

And it hits me...

I made my Dad go to some pretty crappy films as a kid. Some really bad films. I can't imagine that he took any enjoyment from the cinematic vision of Megaforce. Or took some childish glee in the adventure of Krull. And even though it has held up somewhat well, I don't think Tron was exactly the right film for my father. Hell, I'd bet 95 minutes of a computer-generated dog would have seemed like nirvana to him. Especially in the late 70s/early 80s, when the only things computer generated were those IBM punch cards.

Even the good films like Empire probably got old after a dozen viewings. But still, he took me. And look at me now - an utterly unproduced and unsuccessful screenwriter. But, my love for film was fostered by that man's willingness to sit through the crappiest films Hollywood had to offer. So to that, I say "Thanks, Dad."

Will I return the favor to my kids? HELL NO. I'm going to chain those bastards up to a computer and shove every coding language I can find down their throat. Let you idiots try to make the next Tiger out of your kids. I wants some of that Bill Gates bling-bling and I'll pimp my offspring to get it.

wojr

Labels: Hollywood, Nostalgia

  ¶ 4:05 PM