Day of Fools

Today is April the First - known to most as April Fools Day. Many of you dropped me a note admonishing me for not doing anything special for this day. Most believed that I would be a full supporter of this pseudo-holiday. While I support any holiday that Hallmark does not make money from (Groundhog Day Rocks), I don't like the concept of April Fools Day.

It's the one day that silly little pranks are not only expected, but almost socially acceptable. Well, fuck that. Who wants to do what is expected? Who wants to be socially acceptable? Don't be a sheep. People slaughter sheep. Save those pranks, save those practical jokes for the other 364 (or 365) days of the year when it's not a stupid little April Fools' joke. On those other days, these malicious actions border on vengeance. And let me tell you, revenge is much more satisfying.

For the same reason, I'm not a supporter of that "Night before Halloween" known to many as Mischief Night, Ghoulie Night, Devil's Night or Egg Night, depending on the location of your adolescence. Why do all that stupid shit on the one night that everyone is expecting it? And by everyone I mean parents, home-owners, business proprietors and, most importantly, police officers. Why not pick an arbitrary night some other month of the year and make that the new Mischief Night? It'll be easier to buy spray-paint, eggs, toilet paper, gasoline, kindling, neon pink dildos and whatever else one would need for successful hi-jinks. Plus, actions done on a quieter, calmer time of year might even warrant a mention in your local newspaper - and like I said, there is no such thing as bad exposure.

So, go out and raise some mischief. Just not tonight and not at the end of October. Pick something new. Damn tradition.

AND the first person to send me picture of some WOJR.COM graffiti will get a crispy dollar bill from yours truly.

wojr

Labels: Advice, Nostalgia, Snide Remarks

  ¶ 9:15 PM