PRANK CALLING GODCall #1RECEPTIONIST: Good Morning, St. *******'s Church.
CALLER: Is this God's house?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes, it is.
CALLER: Is He in?
RECEPTIONIST: God?
CALLER: Yep.
RECEPTIONIST: Well, God is in all of us.
CALLER: That's pretty funny.
RECEPTIONIST: Why would that be funny?
CALLER: Because I was feeling kind of bloated. I think God is trying to get out.
*Click*
Call #2RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon, Our **** of Perpetual ******.
CALLER: Is this the Church?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Catholic Church, right?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Do you get many Born-Again Catholics?
RECEPTIONIST: Well, some of parishioners have renewed their ties with God.
CALLER: And renounced their previous wanton ways?
RECEPTIONIST: I suppose that is accurate.
CALLER: So, they gave up any evil items that might lead them to sin?
RECEPTIONIST: I don't understand what you mean by "gave up"?
CALLER: Their porn. What did they do with THEIR PORN? Do you have it?
*Click*
Call #3RECEPTIONIST: St. ****** the *******.
CALLER: Yes, I have a question on the commandments.
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
RECEPTIONIST: What is your query, sir?
CALLER: Well, the fourth commandment.
RECEPTIONIST: Honoring the Sabbath?
CALLER: Right, that's all it says, "Thou shall not break the Sabbath." Nothing about going to Church.
RECEPTIONIST: But attending Church is the best way to honor the Lord's Day.
CALLER: Can't I worship God at home though?
RECEPTIONIST: You can worship God anywhere, but our Church allows you to be..
CALLER: But, I don't like your Church.
RECEPTIONIST: Why is that, sir?
CALLER: You have one of those Hippie churches. Everything is made from wood. I like my Churches to be granite.
RECEPTIONIST: Sir, our Church is more than just building materials.
CALLER: No one nailed Jesus to granite.
silence RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
*Click*
I'm sure God has a sense of humor.
wojr
Labels: My Writing, Religion, Snide Remarks