WHY I PREFER MEXICAN PARKING ATTENDANTS

November is quickly approaching which means one thing. Soon, America has to once again pick the lesser of two evils - the masochist process of voting for President. It's no wonder people don't want to vote - the choices just aren't very appealing.

It's like going to your least favorite restaurant and given only two options - the bland dish or the overpriced one with small portions. Either way you aren't going away happy and you probably end up wondering if the waiter spit in your food. (I don't know what the "spit" analogy refers to in the broad political sense, but I'm always left wondering if someone has spit in my food.)

Oh, how I long for a viable third political party - but the odds of that happening are as likely as a new religion skipping "cult" status and heading directly to "church" standing. Basically, one would need an Independent to win the Presidency outright and then start his or her own political party for such a thing to.. but I digress.

I was talking about November. I know we have months to go before the election. In that time, we'll have loads of campaign advertising, debates, two national conventions and numerous references to the spirit of "The Gipper". Loads of twists and turns can happen between now and the election - just ask Howard Dean. He went from front-runner to has-been faster than Pauly Shore and MC Hammer combined.

But, as you continue your decision process, I ask you this..

To continue with the restaurant analogy, if you pulled your brand new sports car up to the parking valet at a posh Los Angeles eatery and you see two available valets - Kerry and Bush - who do you give the keys to your car? If you can afford both the posh restaurant and the sports car, you are probably in the tax bracket most rewarded by Bush's past term - but I bet you'll still hesitate. Cause that look in Bush's eyes just screams out one word:

"JOYRIDE!"

wojr  ¶ 11:17 AM