Backstory Fun: Episode One - Airport Security

How do you make the most excruciating experiences not only bearable, but also enjoyable? Do what I do – give everyone a backstory.

Imagine this scenario.

Darcy has had it pretty easy in life. Daddy's connections and bank accounts have opened most of the doors in her life. For example, after graduating from her father's alma mater, Darcy thought a job for a magazine would be fun. As luck would have it, Dad played golf with the publisher of the New Yorker. Whatever doors Daddy couldn’t open, Darcy's silky complexion and pearly whites handled; getting her into NYC's most hip nightspots, the trousers of the wealthy and handsome suitors she deemed acceptable and even the panties of that one lesbian experience in college. Darcy has gotten everything she has ever wanted and expended little effort in achieving it.

Sharonda, however, has always felt short-changed by life. It always deprived her of what she really wanted, yet constantly buried her in crap she did not want or need. For example, she did not want or need the extra thirty pounds hanging on her ass; instead she wished she still had her mother who died when she was three. If her mother had lived, maybe there would have been some money for her to go to college. Maybe she wouldn't have ended up working at the airport like the rest of her high school. Maybe then she could have met a decent guy that didn't run off with some scrawny white girl that wanted to live out a Mandingo sex fantasy.

When Darcy sees one of her clubbing girlfriends waiting in line for the airport security check, she sees it as an opportunity to bypass the huge line of weary travelers. She calls to her friend who waves her up to the front of the line, a line of people that suddenly hate Darcy for making their wait faintly longer and not even apologizing for it. I'm part of that line and I vehemently hate Darcy, especially since I know her backstory.

Thankfully, the powers that be in the Aviation Industry have granted Sharonda more authority than other GED recipients her age, authority that my Nubian queen seems perfectly fine in abusing. When her eyes narrow as she realizes Darcy looks exactly like the white bitch that stole her man, I know that waiting in line at Airport Security is about get a lot more fun and interesting, and you don't neet to know the backstory to enjoy it.

wojr  ¶ 12:16 PM