Saturday, August 07, 2004
Capitalism + Cocaine = Naked Women on Film Part Quattro: 80s Nostalgia Week
Click here for the pathetic Part 3, here for the horrendous Part 2 or here for Part 1 (but I really don’t recommend it.)
My Desert Island TOP TWO Examples of Female Cinematic Eighties Nudity
For the few of you that did not suffer through Parts I, II or III, there is no possible way to recap other than:
Naked Eighties Booby Good, These Two Better
I have referred to them as the “two shining examples of this era [that] had an instrumental role in the formation of this man’s appreciation in the female form.” Seriously, I can find definite connection between the screen nudity of these two actresses and my current perception of female attractiveness. I will also admit that both insistences of nudity are actually crucial to the progression of their film’s story. (I know that makes me feel a little better about myself.)
Of the two, they both carry equal weight, so I’ll just list them alphabetically.
JOYCE HYSER in JUST ONE OF THE GUYS The plot summary goes a little like this: “Terry [Joyce Hyser] believes her teachers don't take her serious, just because she's a pretty girl. When she fails to win a journalism contest, she decides to switch schools - and gender. She plays her role well and is accepted as one of the guys. However then she meets Rick... and likes him.”
Now, before you go thinking I like transvestites, just know that is not the case. Now, if you think I like girls that have short haircuts and have a passing resemblance to the Karate Kid, well, I might have to admit that under some duress. The scene of film nudity that so jarred my adolescent mind was when Terry whips open her tuxedo to reveal that she is actually a girl. In this day and age, that would not be enough to solidify one’s natural gender, but damn if her breasts don’t make a solid case of it.
To this day, short hair, an impressive rack and some sexual androgynous wardrobe still get my fires burning.
SAMANTHA MATHIS in PUMP THE VOLUME The IMDB plot summary here is an utter sacristy. “Mark is an intelligent but shy teenager who has just moved to Arizona from the East Coast. His parents give him a short-wave radio so he can talk to his pals, but instead he sets up shop as pirate deejay Hard Harry, who becomes a hero to his peers while inspiring the wrath of the local high school principal. When one of Harry's listeners commits suicide and Harry- inspired chaos breaks out at the school, the authorities are called in to put a stop to Harry's broadcasts.” First of all, it’s Happy Harry Hard-On. Don’t shy away from the penis reference. Secondly, it falls to mention his love interest and partner in crime, Nora Diniro, played by Samantha Mathis.
Samantha plays the punk-rock artistic chick that discovers the real identity of the mysterious deejay and brings the introvert out his shell by the quickest way possible – taking off her top. This girl knew the power of her breasts and was not afraid to use them. Of course, she caused Christian Slater to be arrested for FCC violations by the dad from Teen Wolf but if you ask me (and really, who is?) that is a small price to pay.
To this day, a punk rock girl with eggplant hair and pale supple skin still gets me my fires burning.
Check back tomorrow for a brief epilogue.
wojr
Click here for the pathetic Part 3, here for the horrendous Part 2 or here for Part 1 (but I really don’t recommend it.)
My Desert Island TOP TWO Examples of Female Cinematic Eighties Nudity
For the few of you that did not suffer through Parts I, II or III, there is no possible way to recap other than:
Naked Eighties Booby Good, These Two Better
I have referred to them as the “two shining examples of this era [that] had an instrumental role in the formation of this man’s appreciation in the female form.” Seriously, I can find definite connection between the screen nudity of these two actresses and my current perception of female attractiveness. I will also admit that both insistences of nudity are actually crucial to the progression of their film’s story. (I know that makes me feel a little better about myself.)
Of the two, they both carry equal weight, so I’ll just list them alphabetically.
JOYCE HYSER in JUST ONE OF THE GUYS The plot summary goes a little like this: “Terry [Joyce Hyser] believes her teachers don't take her serious, just because she's a pretty girl. When she fails to win a journalism contest, she decides to switch schools - and gender. She plays her role well and is accepted as one of the guys. However then she meets Rick... and likes him.”
Now, before you go thinking I like transvestites, just know that is not the case. Now, if you think I like girls that have short haircuts and have a passing resemblance to the Karate Kid, well, I might have to admit that under some duress. The scene of film nudity that so jarred my adolescent mind was when Terry whips open her tuxedo to reveal that she is actually a girl. In this day and age, that would not be enough to solidify one’s natural gender, but damn if her breasts don’t make a solid case of it.
To this day, short hair, an impressive rack and some sexual androgynous wardrobe still get my fires burning.
SAMANTHA MATHIS in PUMP THE VOLUME The IMDB plot summary here is an utter sacristy. “Mark is an intelligent but shy teenager who has just moved to Arizona from the East Coast. His parents give him a short-wave radio so he can talk to his pals, but instead he sets up shop as pirate deejay Hard Harry, who becomes a hero to his peers while inspiring the wrath of the local high school principal. When one of Harry's listeners commits suicide and Harry- inspired chaos breaks out at the school, the authorities are called in to put a stop to Harry's broadcasts.” First of all, it’s Happy Harry Hard-On. Don’t shy away from the penis reference. Secondly, it falls to mention his love interest and partner in crime, Nora Diniro, played by Samantha Mathis.
Samantha plays the punk-rock artistic chick that discovers the real identity of the mysterious deejay and brings the introvert out his shell by the quickest way possible – taking off her top. This girl knew the power of her breasts and was not afraid to use them. Of course, she caused Christian Slater to be arrested for FCC violations by the dad from Teen Wolf but if you ask me (and really, who is?) that is a small price to pay.
To this day, a punk rock girl with eggplant hair and pale supple skin still gets me my fires burning.
Check back tomorrow for a brief epilogue.
wojr
