Nineteen Percent Does Not Get You a Tug and a Poke

Men, myself included, are prone to do stupid things.

In the gigantic realm of dim-witted acts that heterosexual members of the male gender commit, one that consistently surprises me is our excessive tipping of waitresses that we find sexually attractive.

We delude ourselves into believing that our financial generosity will somehow make us more appealing to these ladies and therefore increase our chances of sleeping with them.

Of course, we would never admit our true intentions for added gratuity. We'd complement the lady's admirable serving skills and make no mention to our quasi-prostitution expectations.

We wouldn't admit to our hidden agenda, because deep down we understand that it is not only moronic, but morally unsound.

However, consider this notion. I can't speak from experience but I'm fairly certain that the second quickest way to insure that your desired serving wench will NOT sleep with you is to under tip.

Why the second quickest? Well, speaking from experience, the quickest way to insure that the hot ass Hooters girl will NOT sleep with you is to stick your dick in the mashed potatoes.

"M.I.K.E. to the D
You come and see me
And you pay a fee
Do what I do professionally
To tell the Truth I am exactly
What I want to be"

Happy Hump Day!

wojr  ¶ 5:47 PM