Thinking About Some Time Traveling Bestiality Fetishists & Getting Paid For It

You've heard that question before. "If you could go back in time and kill somebody in order to benefit humanity, who would you kill?" It's been the basis for many lackluster ethical debates and even more mind-numbing science fiction stories. And people always seem to pick the same person to assassinate.

HITLER.

I'm sick of people saying how they would go back in time and kill Hitler. It's the fucking boring clichéd answer. Can't we just assume that Hitler is everyone's first choice for the time travel assassination? Then, we can move on to more interesting topics like who would be the SECOND person that you'd kill.

My first instinct would be to go back in time and kill that first African tribesman that fucked a monkey & started the AIDS epidemic. But I don't think killing one man would stop AIDS. We all know that it would be inevitable that someone would bang a monkey. You know, after a long day in the bush, you would have a few too many Colt 45s or some other African drinks with your hunting buddies and then they would start daring you to make the ape your next grudge fuck. One thing leads to another, well, you get the picture.

Then, who should I kill with my time machine if AIDS emanating monkey sex is destined by fate and malt liquor?

As I sit in my work area and listen to my coworker complain about her son's incompetent nanny and other marital woes, I realize I would kill Bob Propst, the inventor of the cubicle. Bastard has dehumanized more workers around the world than Joseph McCarthy. Sad fact is that at all the jobs I really hated I had my own office, while at my current position, which I can actually tolerate and earn a quasi-respectable salary, I’m trapped in a damn cubicle thinking about African men molesting monkeys.

It's a strange world we live - with or without Time Traveling Assassins.

On a related note, who do you think would be the best single individual to kill in order to save Jesus of Nazareth: Judas Iscariot, Barabbas or Pontius Pilate? Personally, I'm leaning towards the dark horse candidate, Barabbas. Any thoughts?

wojr  ¶ 4:32 PM