wojr - words, occasionally sentences

wojr - words, occasionally sentences

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Who Needs Sleeping Pills Anymore?

Yeah, Marshall Mathers is in rehab.

For sleeping pills.

Upon hearing that less-than-audacious news tidbit, my initial comical response was "Christ, I feel sorry for people that are actually addicted to sleeping pills." With this whole "Eminem hooked on the Benzodiazepines" cover story, people that are really addicted to the pills that inspire sleep will face two types of reactions from the non-drug-addled populace. Either people will think (1) the addict is a wimp for getting hooked on a drug like sleeping pills (If you can't snort it off a hooker's ass, a drug just won't garner you any real respect.) or (2) the addict is a lying bastard that is actually hooked on the OxyCotin. Both options seem to bite the big one. Especially when you consider how easy it would be to get hooked on these pills. I mean, one minute you're a hot soccer mom just trying to find an easy cure for some insomnia and, the next thing you know, you're giving hand jobs to your local pharmacist for a few extra pills. It's just a shameful thing that Eminem shouldn't try to use to his own advantage. (Though, makes you wonder though how difficult pharmacy school would be. Right?)

Personally, I'd wager that Marshall falls into the second aforementioned category and is hooked on the Oxy worse that a thirteen year old with a severe zit condition. (Yeah, even I groaned at that one.) Of course, I have no real proof of this, but it was just announced earlier this week that Eminem would be canceling his upcoming European tour due to "exhaustion." Well, we all know that "exhaustion" is code word for either "eating disorder" or "hardcore drug problem" and our young rapper doesn't look emaciated.

To be completely honest though, the whole thing just bores the shit out of me. So much so, that I think I may take a nap.

Thanks, Eminem. Between you and Diddy, you both have inspired enough apathy in me that I don't need to resort to medication to fall asleep. I just need to turn on the E! Weekend Update.

Thus, no hand job for you today, Mr. Pharmacist. I got a new drug.

wojr

¶ 2:02 PM

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