Wojr Doesn’t Need a Name Change, But Some Free Press Would Be Nice

If you do not know, yesterday was a historic day. You know why? Because on August 16, 2005, civilization as we knew it ceased to exist and there is only one man to blame.

And his name is now DIDDY!

Yesterday, the man legally known as Sean Combs announced that he has changed his nickname from "P. Diddy" to just "Diddy" and our media proclaimed it NEWS!

Why did he do it? Was he shedding his so-called slave name? Was he attempting to hide from some paternity suits? Did he donate his "P" to some important cause?

NO.

Bastard was out for some press, but of course, he claimed to have other reasons.

In his own words:

1. "I even started to get confused myself--and when I'd called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long," Diddy told the New York Post.

2. "A lot of my peeps in music been calling me 'Diddy,' so it's not a drastic change for them. But people around the world didn't know what to call me."

But most importantly --

3. "I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer," Diddy said.

Hold on…

Wait for it..

Trust me it’s worth it..

R. Kelly also feels like his pee is getting between him and his fans, especially the underage female fans.

(God, that’s why you need a blog. That felt SO GOOD.)

Well, you know what P. Diddy? I’m not calling you DIDDY. To me, you will always be PUFF DADDY.

And it’s not just because I like calling black men "DADDY."

It’s because the B.I.G. called you that and I am all about giving my props to the B.I.G. Something I think you may have forgotten, Sean.

Years ago, BRONC tried to get me to call him M.J. I laughed right in his face (well, via a telephone) and he realized what a stupid idea that was. If the B.I.G was still around, he would laugh in Mr. Combs' face and we’d all be better off.

Especially Bobby McFerrin.

You see, yesterday, Bobby "Don't Worry, Be Happy" McFerrin announced plans to take a year-long break from touring and recording. Unfortunately, Puff Daddy stole all his press.

In related news, Anson "Potsie" Williams announced he is taking a year off from acting & Paris Hilton announced that she is taking a year off from porn.

Luckily, we will only have a year to wait for them to return. Who knows what Sean’s nickname will be by then?

"One word. Five letters. Period." That word – BITCH.

wojr  ¶ 1:37 PM