How Do You Say "Kill the White Devil"??

I do have other topics that I wanted to discuss – March Madness, DaVinci Code Porn, the truly bizarre search keywords that have been leading people to this website – but this story just screamed out to me.

Found on cnn.com:

NEW DELHI, India (Reuters) -- A Muslim couple in India have been told by local Islamic leaders they must separate after the husband "divorced" his wife in his sleep, the Press Trust of India reported.

Sohela Ansari told friends that her husband Aftab had uttered the word "talaq," or divorce, three times in his sleep, according to the report published in newspapers on Monday.

When local Islamic leaders got to hear, they said Aftab's words constituted a divorce under an Islamic procedure known as "triple talaq." The couple, married for 11 years with three children, were told they had to split.

The religious leaders ruled that if the couple wanted to remarry they would have to wait at least 100 days. Sohela would also have to spend a night with another man and be divorced by him in turn.

The couple, who live in the eastern state of West Bengal, have refused to obey the order and the issue has been referred to a local family counseling center.

A "triple talaq"? Wasn’t that Rodney Dangerfield’s dive in Back to School?

"I don't joke about dives. Especially that one. It almost killed me." God, I miss Rodney.

Anyhow, back to religious fubars..

Ideally, I would love to hear Bush comment on how this course of action violates the sanctity of marriage, but I know I’m not that lucky.

However I am lucky enough to avoid any real damage with my own sleep-talking. (And no, I don’t stutter in my sleep.) Besides the name of an ex here or there, I’ve avoided uttering anything too incendiary. Carm also talks in her sleep but she normally speaks in her own dialect ("Cebuano", for those keeping score at home). Thus, in order to protect myself, I had her teach me how to say "Kill the White Devil" in Cebuano. (I won’t even try to spell it out here.) If I hear that phrase uttered in bed, well, I’ll know to start sleeping with my 3 wood.

Now that I think about it, I should make sure there aren’t any Filipino nocturnal divorce customs that I need to be made aware of. I would hate to wake up one morning with half my possessions gone because I uttered some Back to School quotes in my sleep.

"But your honor, he called me a melon and told me to put me suit on! He is the White Devil! KILL WHITEY!"

Sorry let that get away from me, again let’s get back to the religious screw-ups..

Personally, I’m happy to see some Muslim religious leaders acting slightly idiotic. Why should the Catholic Right hog all the good blunders? Plus some crazy talk from up high should make some Muslims stop and question the edicts of these leaders. They might start doubting the actual number of virgins waiting for them in the afterlife.

And I’ll take three talaqs over a single suicide bombing any day of the week.

wojr  ¶ 6:08 PM