When I Enter My Homeless Man Phase

I don’t think I’ll panhandle. I mean all the good panhandling signs have been made.

Like this one:
(Someone give that guy a sitcom deal or something. He can certainly write up something better than Yes, Dear.)

Instead, I think I’ll sell raffle tickets for my soul. I know I’m borrowing heavily from those guys (Why is it always guys that do that?) that are auctioning off their souls on eBay. However, I don’t I think they are not realizing their true financial potential on eBay. Those auctions have a set ending time. You are limiting your sales window.

My soul raffle may never end. I could just keep on postponing the date of my “soul” drawing forever. Also, I can just rig the raffle. Make sure I, or maybe Jesus Christ (by the way, two separate people), would win the main prize.

I mean I’d be homeless. I doubt the raffle police could even track me down. Unless they were ninjas.

Then, I would need kungfu lessons to protect me from the ninja raffle police. I probably should take some kungfu lessons anyway. I’m sure they would be more useful to me than my soul.

wojr  ¶ 5:16 PM