The Monday Morning Quarterback Answers Viewer Mail

While 97 percent of the email received at wojr.com is from friends and/or family, we here are not above from calling it fan mail.

Here are some quotes from said fan mail pulled entirely at random:

"As for your site and your myspace - the girls have been reading your journal and have seen your myspace, and the consensus......... you are cute, and you must REALLY REALLY dig porn! I couldn't stop laughing!!!!!" – Mary Beth Wassem

"I'M HAPPY TO SEE THAT I'M COOL ENOUGH TO BE MENTIONED IN YOUR PORN-INFESTED BLOGS." – Rory Walker

"What the hell is a "blowbag" [sic]?" – 'Bronc'

"Uncle Sam could give you up to $25,000 - open to see how" – spam

Did you see the “cute” remark in the first one? If not, go back and read it again. I can wait.

Damn straight, I’m cute! But is my blog really infested with porn? Do I REALLY, REALLY dig porn?

Honestly, I don’t watch porn too often. I can actually count on one hand the times I have watched porn since Carm moved to New York. Good thing too, cause the other hand has been busy (ba-dum-dum). Whatever adult films I do own were probably mailed to me from Senor Broncatello. (Let me tell you, you don’t know bad pornography until you see the smut Bronc decides to discard.)

As for discussions on the Adult Industry on this site, well, that business does fascinate me. For example, I wouldn’t watch the World’s Oldest Gangbang, but the production and marketing processes for such a film just boggles my mind. I want to see (but not meet) the guy that is eagerly awaiting the release of that film. You know, the guy that calls the video store every new release day.

However, I will admit that I use porn as a comedy crutch. Plus, I get off that it draws traffic to the site.

So, with the exception of the following story, used only to redeem myself slightly, I declare that this week will be free of pornography or whores of the crack variety on wojr.com. (I do reserve the right to do a Whitney Houston piece if one presents itself.)

Found on dailynorthwestern.com (via attu):

Profs: Porn serves as unique learning tool

It’s like bathroom habits or masturbation: you just don’t talk about it. Then, all of a sudden, it’s on your required reading list.

Pornography was once a topic heavily debated but rarely studied. Now, academics are beginning to find substance in the once disgraceful genre. Pornography is becoming a trendy topic intellectually, and what Time magazine has dubbed “the porn curriculum” has slowly trickled into to Northwestern academics.

Students and professors alike are becoming more interested in using pornography as a tool for studying everything from history to science.

(I think I want my autobiography to be titled, "The Disgraceful Genre".)

So, even though it’s obvious that I am just ahead of my time, I’ll refrain from the porn for a week.

I have self-control.

Plus, I can be funny about other topics. Well, that might not be true, but I’m still cute.

wojr  ¶ 1:33 PM