My Personal Sense of Pride Needs To Take A Shower

So, wojr.com was flooded with traffic today.

Normally, I fight tooth and nail for every visitor, but today, the boys were home from war and mine was the only whorehouse in sight.

It took some thought until I reread this snippet off of lukeisback.net:

Rob Spallone has booked 19-year old Crystal Clear to do the world's oldest gangbang with a bunch of men over 60. She's booked to appear on the Howard Stern show April 21 at 7am.

Today was the 21st.

Do a google search and you’ll find that this site is the number 6 site for “oldest gangbang”.

Thus, I’m slightly proud. And a little dirty.

I’m also upset that Charlie Murphy got booted off the top of the list of search terms. (By the way, if you are on myspace – go be Charlie Murphy’s friend: myspace.com/darknesscharliemurphy - The man is hysterical.)

But I digress..

I was slightly curious to what was said on the Stern Show, so I looked at HowardStern.com and found this synopsis:

Porn star, Crystal Clear, came into the studio to talk about the next movie she’ll be doing where she’ll have sex with 50 men over 60 years old. Crystal reported she’s had sex with 200 men in her life and has made about 45 pornos since she started in the industry when she turned 19, less than a year ago. Crystal went on to say she spent seven years in facilities for troubled kids when she was younger and she used to hang a sign-up sheet on her door for any of the women in the building who wanted to have sex with her. Crystal also revealed she was adopted and at 9 years old she started having lesbian sex with her non-biological cousin.

It doesn’t stop there:

After Gary noted Crystal performs “water sports” and “blowbangs” – which she said involve having oral sex with a number of men at once – she claimed she participates in such acts because she wants to make a name for herself in the industry. Crystal then commented she’s in love with her boyfriend, a man Gary noted was “41 and black.” Howard responded it sounded to him like Crystal was looking for a father figure in her life, a remark she acknowledged she’d heard before.

Once again, Fathers of America, it is your responsibility to keep your daughters off the pole. To paraphrase Smokey the Bear – “Only you can prevent crack whores.” (T-shirt will be coming soon.)

So now, in closing, please remember these five facts:

wojr.com is your sixth best destination for geriatric group sex.

I still wish my name was Rob Spallone.

Biological or not, cousins are off limits. (I’m talking to you, Rory.)

You can try with all your might, but the word “blowbang” is now forever lodged in your memory.

If your work hasn't already banned my site from viewing, they soon will.

Good night and good luck, America.

wojr  ¶ 3:54 PM