wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, April 14, 2006
 
They Really Need to Add Alcohol to the Equation

Once again, the term 'academic' is stretched to its limits – like a lycra skirt on a big ol’ booty.

Found on foxnews.com (via fleshbot.com (NSFW)):
A team of British academics has developed a mathematical formula to determine just how perfect your posterior is.
What pray tell is this miracle formula?
And the Rosetta Stone of bootyliciousness is: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).

First, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:

* S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)

* C = circularity (rounder is better)

* B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)

* F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)

* T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)

Then calculate this:

* V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.
I can’t wrap my head around the phrase "too much push to that cushion loses points". It just boggles my mind. Do you want more cushion for the pushing or don’t you? Damn you, you confusing British dorks.

Women have something similar to this. They divide your net worth by the number of orgasms you can provide on a weekly basis then multiply it by the inverse of your body hair percentage. However, if you use math to judge the bootyliciousness of their ass especially the "wobble" of it, you’ll never see them naked.

Unless they're drunk, then all bets are off.

wojr
 
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