Colds Are Depressing and Apparently Condoms Are Too

Not to jinx myself, but today I almost felt like a human being again. The fever has officially broken and my mind has regained some, albeit minimal, focus.

Of course, now I have a goddamn cough.

I blame Southern California. Once a cold gets on your arse out here, it stays on it. I miss those New Jersey bugs where a day or two of Nyquil hibernation could fix anything.

Still, not feeling one hundred percent (i.e. still no wood when I awoke) so I have nothing really funny to say, but this story did strike me as odd (plus, I think I linked to it once already).

Found on newscientist.com (via Fleshbot (NSFW)):

Semen acts as an anti-depressant

Semen makes you happy. That's the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don't.

The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they have ruled out other explanations.

"I want to make it clear that we are not advocating that people abstain from using condoms," says Gordon Gallup, the psychologist at the State University of New York who led the team. "Clearly an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease would more than offset any advantageous psychological effects of semen."

Nice try there, Gordo!

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of the spunk, I am. It’s my favorite excretion. But I just can’t buy the word of guy named Gordon Gallup on this. I think Gordo is just looking to get some more bareback action in his life.

Personally, I just think condoms are to blame for the depression, rather than sperm inducing elation and happiness. Does the sight of a condom ever really get you hot? Nope, it’s a necessary hurdle one jumps over to get to the humping. Like age of consent and level of intoxication.

But what do I know? I’m not even 100 percent wojr today. I think I’m clocking in at 75 percent. Maybe I need to unleash some of my boys on the world. That might make me happier.

wojr  ¶ 5:52 PM