How Did This Juicy Nugget of Information Get Past Me?

I must have been sick, because here it is May Fifth and I'm just finding out that:

MAY is mother f'ing MASTURBATION month.

Really? How did I miss that? Hell, I don’t know if I ever knew about this month long celebration of the self-diddle.

Here’s some background info - Found on about.com (via fleshbot (NSFW)):

May is National Masturbation Month

Masturbation has had a colorful history. By far the most commonly practiced sexual behavior around the world, masturbation has gone from being ignored to being vilified, from a mental illness to a tool of women’s empowerment, celebrated with its very own month of the year.

About.com even gives you the Top 7 Myths about Masturbation.

My personal favorite is number six:

Too much masturbation is bad for you.
With very rare exceptions, frequent masturbation is not harmful. If an individual is compulsively masturbating or is unable to engage in any sexual behavior other than masturbation (and would like to), it is possible that there may be reason to consult a mental health professional. But masturbating, whether it is once a month, or three times a day, if it is part of a balanced sexual and social life, poses no specific risks.

Personally, I had a wet dream before I ever masturbated. Let me tell you that was the ONLY wet dream I ever had. Once I figured out my unit could be used for something other than pissing, well, the amusement park was open for business.

I remember the biggest change from High School to College. High school was a place where no one, male or female, ever admitted they road the bus to Self Pleasure Towne. But in my freshman year dorm, bouts of self abuse were announced with pride and glee. (Of course, we did call that place the Loony Bin.) Bronc still tells stories about one Christmas Eve when he climaxed ten to twenty times. (The numbers change depending on the level of Jack Daniels consumed.)

Thus, considering my fondness of the act, when I see a site called www.stopthewaronmasturbation.com, I get concerned.

Who started a campaign against my primary form of physical exercise?

The site is claiming that articles like The Guardian's in depth look at whether masturbation lead to suicide bombing are signs of pending smackdown on the cause of masturbation. (Of course, the website is being sponsored by a sex toy vendor, so they might be biased. Also, check out this article on how Masturbation Month has become too commercialized.)

I see no need for concern. The State of Masturbation today is GOOD. We have a grade "A" wanker in the White House. We have porn discussion back on wojr.com. Plus, the internet offers new mental stimuli or sex toy vendors every day.

When I go to sleep at night, I can still hear the echoes of old dorm-mates announcing their intentions of self-exploration and I smile. Once in a while, I join in - but never on Christmas Eve. I normally get laid on Christmas Eve.

Happy Masturbation Month to ONE and ALL!

wojr  ¶ 3:30 PM