wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
 
They Had Me At 'Dick'

How great is this headline - found on imdb.com:
Dick Goes Berserk at Shatner Roast

American comedian Andy Dick reportedly went berserk backstage at the Comedy Central Roast Of William Shatner on Sunday, licking screen siren Farrah Fawcett and biting a journalist. New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller claims she watched Dick lick Fawcett, Carrie Fisher and comedian Patton Oswalt before turning his attentions to her. He allegedly groped her, tried to kiss her, proclaimed his love for her and then bit her hand, telling her, "Baby please, put in something nice. They're so mean. I'm not weird. Maybe I'm a little weird, they make me out to be a monster, I'm not a monster. I just want to have fun, baby please." She also accuses him of urinating in front of her and offering her cocaine. The show will air on Sunday August 20.
So, in summation, Dick bit Mandy. It could have been worse. The roles could have been reversed. Ba-dum-dum.

Also, look who Andy licked. It's like one of those logic problems gone plain awry.

Complete the following series: Farrah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher, ______________.

Personally, I would have guessed Stefanie Powers or Nichelle Nichols. Never in a million years would I have picked Patton Oswalt to complete that trio.

(Interesting bit of trivia: Patton Oswalt is sometimes credited as Shecky Chucklestein.)


In addition, I loved how the bulk of the piece focused on the licking and the biting. It is as if the urination and cocaine are somehow understood when dealing with Andy Dick. Expected even.

And yes, that secretly makes me jealous.

wojr
 
Comments:
From the mind of Patton Oswalt:

"Please join me and the AIDS virus in finding a cure for Andy Dick."

wojr
 
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