I Hope My Corpse Endorses TrimSpa, Y’All

Last night, I received a phone call from Senor Broncatello. I’m unaware how much, if any, Jack Daniels precipitated this call but here’s how it went:

Bronc: “You know, this Audrey Hepburn ad, it’s kinda turning me on.”

That was his opening. There was no “Hello” or “Kon-nichiwa, bitch.” Just a declaration of his arousal over a Gap ad starring a dead woman.

For those that haven’t seen a television in the last month. Here is the advertisement he’s talking about:



Now, I’ve long had an asexual fascination with Audrey Hepburn. I’ve seen her movies more times than what is allowed for heterosexual males. I’m aware of it and so is Bronc. So, he decided to have some fun with that admiration. Especially, when I claimed to have real problems with the commercial.

Bronc: “She’s dancing to Back in Black for christ’s sake. Plus talking about expressing herself and needing a release. It’s just hot.”

Now, I paraphrase myself here when I say “if a stripper does not appear hot dancing to Back to Black (AC/DC, not Wing), then she’s just not hot.” So, Audrey Hepburn dancing to the ultimate stripper song - come on, that’s just wrong.

Plus, they have her basically endorsing their product. Hepburn’s been dead since 1993 and I don’t remember her endorsing the Gap when she was alive. Hell, the lady was an ambassador for UNICEF, an organization against sweatshops and child labor. Remember when there was a public outcry when Coke had digitally inserted Humphrey Bogart into one of their commercials. Damn it, Bogart wasn’t even an opponent of Coke’s business practices.

I should write a will and list exactly what types of products and/or services my image can be licensed to you. I have a feeling that I’m going to be a big deal come post mortem time.

(Side note: does any one else have a problem with Coke putting Santa Claus on their packaging during Christmas time? It’s almost like Santa is endorsing their product, even though everyone knows the old man prefers Milk and cookies. I bet Coke doesn’t have to pay St. Nick for his endorsement, huh?)

This was a typical phone conversation between the two of us.

wojr

Labels: Bronc, Snide Remarks, Youtube

  ¶ 1:25 PM