Cynicism Comes Cheaper on Mondays!

"Say cheese!"

Someone is about to take your picture, so make sure you show your staged photo expression. You know that one, the smile lacking any authenticity or sincerity. One could call it your plastic visage. Others might even call it soulless.

I’m no better. I do it too. The soul free smile. The glassy eyes. The subtle urgent need for the whole experience to just end.

Of course, I have to be instructed or cajoled to do so. Normally by an over-excited family member, friend or other self-appointed chronicler.

And if you say no, then you're considered rude or anti-social.

Now, I am rude and anti-social, but I like to hide those traits. Especially from my family or people I'm trying to bang. (The two groups do not overlap.)

So, there we all are. Being photographed with expressions natural only to the under and over medicated, leaving evidence of our supposed happiness and joy for the archeologists of future or alien generations. Making these deluded folks think:

"Things must have been so much better then. Look how happy everyone is."

And the unstaged pictures? What do we call them?

Candid.

Not honest. Not sincere. Not life-like or realistic. Just candid. Calling them honest or sincere pictures openly admits our insincerity and dishonesty in the staged pictures.

That’s why I like photographs of drunken co-eds flashing the camera. You can call them crude or degrading, but photos of young boobies never lie.

Plus, today’s nudie pictures will be next century’s National Geographic feature, giving many a young pimply-faced adolescent their first beat-off material.

But hopefully, they will have cured acne by then.

wojr

Labels: Snide Remarks

  ¶ 3:33 PM