wojr Is Only Afraid of Renaissance Fairs and Hillbilly Rapists

Happy Friday the 13th, Everyone!

Like most people that work the traditional five day work week, I am quite fond of Fridays. I equate that day with happy hours, the freedom of the pending weekend and drinking at lunch (Shout out to Kuffel!). But I especially love Fridays that just happen to fall on the thirteenth day of the month. Let me tell you why--

For those not “in the know” – found on wikipedia.org:

A Friday occurring on the 13th day of any month is considered to be a day of bad luck in English and Portuguese-speaking cultures around the globe. Similar superstitions exist in some other traditions. In Greece and Spain, for example, Tuesday the 13th takes the same role. The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia, a specialized form of triskaidekaphobia, a phobia (fear) of the number thirteen.

First off, I adore the sheer ludicrousness of the event. Like most superstitions, no one really is sure how it started. For our younger readers, the fear of the day predates the movie and televisions series. Some conjecture that it has something to do with the arrest of hundreds of Knights Templar on October 13, 1307. If that was so, why not just remember October 13th as the unlucky day, similar to March 15th. Why make it a floating holiday like Christ’s Death? Also, how is it that the English and Portuguese share the consideration? We also have Fat Tuesday in common. Do we need the bad luck day to offset the wonder that is Carnivale/Mardi Gras?

Secondly, I love the word triskaidekaphobia. True, it’s no schadenfreude, but it just rolls off the tongue. Plus, it’s a phobia and phobias are just good solid fun. Don’t like someone but not enough to wish them death, disease or dismemberment? Wish them a phobia. Other people’s irrational fears are fun.

Now, don’t curse them with something serious like Agoraphobia or Sitiophobia (the fear of food or eating). wojr.com recommends hexing the following phobias on one’s enemies:

Coulrophobia – the fear of clowns

Parthenophobia – the fear of virgins or young girls

Phronemophobia – the fear of thinking (very common among Americans)

Medomalacuphobia – the fear of losing one’s erection (sometimes caused by thinking)

Isopterophobia – the fear of insects that eat wood (not to be confused with Medomalacuphobia. Huh-huh, he said ‘wood’.)

Bromidrosiphobia – the fear of giving forth a bad odor from one’s body

Nucleomituphobia – the fear of nuclear weapons (I used to have this one.)

Coitophobia – the fear of sexual intercourse

Pentheraphobia – the fear of mother-in-laws

Genuphobia – the fear of knees (Really? Knees?)

Spermophobia – the fear of semen (Bronc suffers from this one. He thinks his sperm are plotting against him with their superpowers.)

Cherophobia – the fear of Cher – kidding, actually it’s close. It is the fear of gaiety (Bronc suffers from that one, too. Unless the gaiety comes with superpowers. He’d definitely go gay for some superpowers.)

I was surprised that I couldn’t find a listing for a fear of feet. I’ve been accused of having such a fear, but I think it’s more of an aversion or whatever the antonym for fetish would be. I’m also averse to testicles, but I’m not scared of them. Just of waking up with some strange ones resting on my chin or forehead. (See Roman War Helmet.)

Anyhow, that’s a post for another day.

But today, enjoy your Friday the 13th. If you are looking for some method to display your love of the day in some nonverbal or novel way, I recommend the following shirt:

You can purchase said shirt here.

Good day and good luck. Or bad luck if that’s your thing.

wojr

Labels: Bronc, Snide Remarks

  ¶ 11:35 AM