I Never Knew that Jesus was Slippery When Wet

Found on metro.co.uk (via the online home of the Internet Jesus):

A man who climbed a 45-foot tall statue of Jesus to pray for a miracle cure saw his plan backfire slightly, when he fell off, breaking several bones.

Farmer Alipio Acosta climbed up the statue of Jesus in Ocaca, Columbia in front of a crowd of onlookers – and TV cameras – in an attempt to be cured of his epilepsy. Once at the top of the statue, he prayed for a few moments, then started to climb back down.

Unfortunately, he hadn't planned his descent route terribly well. To add to the problems, it had been raining, which made Jesus quite slippery.

As he tried to negotiate his way around Jesus' outstretched arm, Acosta dangled for a moment, before losing his grip, falling, bouncing off the plinth and then falling some more.

On the plus side, he survived. Which is a miracle of sorts.

He was taken to hospital, where he was diagnosed with multiple fractures to his wrist, hip and skull.

This is not the first time Acosta has climbed up the Cristo Ray statue – he did the same thing two years ago. On that occasion, he wasn't cured of his epilepsy, but he didn't fall 45 feet either, making the venture a sort of 0 – 0 win.

In case you were wondering – yes, there is video of Jesus standing idly by as a devout devotee falls the 45 feet.

I do have a little remorse in finding this so funny. (WHAT? I’m not completely heartless!)

Here’s a man, a simple farmer from Columbia. He most likely received very little, if any, formal education and probably had a hard enough time surviving his world without the burden of epilepsy.

But come on, Alipio. You already climbed that statue once! It didn’t work. So, instead you decide to try again when Jesus was all lubed up? You pester the big guy for a second time with the same whiny problem and, of course, he’ll smack your ass down. Did you even bother wiping the bird-shit off his brow, Alipio? I bet you didn’t. No, it’s all about little Alipio. Well, man, I think if you can climb a 45 foot statue without having an epileptic seizure then you aren’t that bad off.

Ok, maybe I am heartless, but this guy is an idiot.

Too bad he wasn’t a priest though. Since the act Alipio performed was technically prayer, he could have definitely filed a worker’s comp claim.

Of course, I am assuming that Columbia has Worker’s Comp Insurance.

And you know what happens when you assume? That’s right, Jesus strikes down an epileptic.

wojr

Labels: News, Religion

  ¶ 6:42 PM