I know it was before 9/11 and the government bailouts, but I just can't recall when they stopped pretending to care.

Really, if they announced tomorrow that they were starting a new airline called "Fuck You Airlines", would you be surprised? Hell, I would at least respect their honesty. (Would they be FYA or FUA?)

The customer service staff looks upon the prospective air travellers as if they are the neighbor's retarded kid. You know, the one that favors feces as his favorite artistic medium. Most of them don't even need to check anyone in anymore. Damn, some don't even have to pick up a bag. They just slap a boarding pass on your suitcase and tilt their head towards the security scanner. (And why does my bag ALWAYS have to go through the scanner?)

So, I'm currently flying from Los Angeles to Pittsburgh. My next flight from Pittsburgh to Newark is overbooked. I probably won't get on it. I haven't had a trip that did not involve a delay or cancellation or an overbooking since the 20th century.

Which was right around the same time stewardesses stopped being hot and started being bitter, leathery ice queens that don't show any skin because then we'd see their two dozen nicotine patches. Ladies, I did not suck your soul. Stop treating me like I did.

What else? Oh yeah, I bought these tickets on expedia.com. I vividly recall taking the time to select exactly which seats I wanted. Of my four flights, I was happy to get three exit row picks. Number four was some business class option. Want to know where I am sitting? Yep, back near the toilet, sitting in the middle seat, next to a very nice mountain of man. He's large enough to affect the curvature of my spine.

No food. No movie. No Mile High Club. Just a pilot that sounds like Elwood Blues and likes to take advantage of the public address system. I cut him some slack though. He might be on a mission from God.

wojr
Posted from Treo (so expect spelling errors)