wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, June 18, 2004
DON'T NEED TO BE A LIBERAL TO LAUGH AT THIS
That's just good comedy.
HAPPY 5:00PM FRIDAY EVERYONE!
wojr
That's just good comedy.
HAPPY 5:00PM FRIDAY EVERYONE!
wojr
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Consider It A Sociological Experiment Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
So the male version of the FAKE Personal Ad got no responses. Let's try the female version:
SHE'S THE DEFINITION OF A 'REAL CATCH'
I'm a twenty-something white female just looking for love. Is this neurotic overweight girl right for you? Only if you like unemployed ladies with an awkwardly close attachment to their mother. If you do, then take a chance on this mildly depressed girl with no real long-term plans or direction. I'm positive we would hit it off, then I can finally move out of my mother's house and into yours.
PS: Also, I am blessed with magnificent juggs and no gag reflex.
Purposely kept changes to a minimum. I'll let you know what responses I get.
wojr
So the male version of the FAKE Personal Ad got no responses. Let's try the female version:
SHE'S THE DEFINITION OF A 'REAL CATCH'
I'm a twenty-something white female just looking for love. Is this neurotic overweight girl right for you? Only if you like unemployed ladies with an awkwardly close attachment to their mother. If you do, then take a chance on this mildly depressed girl with no real long-term plans or direction. I'm positive we would hit it off, then I can finally move out of my mother's house and into yours.
PS: Also, I am blessed with magnificent juggs and no gag reflex.
Purposely kept changes to a minimum. I'll let you know what responses I get.
wojr
WHY I PREFER MEXICAN PARKING ATTENDANTS
November is quickly approaching which means one thing. Soon, America has to once again pick the lesser of two evils - the masochist process of voting for President. It's no wonder people don't want to vote - the choices just aren't very appealing.
It's like going to your least favorite restaurant and given only two options - the bland dish or the overpriced one with small portions. Either way you aren't going away happy and you probably end up wondering if the waiter spit in your food. (I don't know what the "spit" analogy refers to in the broad political sense, but I'm always left wondering if someone has spit in my food.)
Oh, how I long for a viable third political party - but the odds of that happening are as likely as a new religion skipping "cult" status and heading directly to "church" standing. Basically, one would need an Independent to win the Presidency outright and then start his or her own political party for such a thing to.. but I digress.
I was talking about November. I know we have months to go before the election. In that time, we'll have loads of campaign advertising, debates, two national conventions and numerous references to the spirit of "The Gipper". Loads of twists and turns can happen between now and the election - just ask Howard Dean. He went from front-runner to has-been faster than Pauly Shore and MC Hammer combined.
But, as you continue your decision process, I ask you this..
To continue with the restaurant analogy, if you pulled your brand new sports car up to the parking valet at a posh Los Angeles eatery and you see two available valets - Kerry and Bush - who do you give the keys to your car? If you can afford both the posh restaurant and the sports car, you are probably in the tax bracket most rewarded by Bush's past term - but I bet you'll still hesitate. Cause that look in Bush's eyes just screams out one word:
"JOYRIDE!"
wojr
November is quickly approaching which means one thing. Soon, America has to once again pick the lesser of two evils - the masochist process of voting for President. It's no wonder people don't want to vote - the choices just aren't very appealing.
It's like going to your least favorite restaurant and given only two options - the bland dish or the overpriced one with small portions. Either way you aren't going away happy and you probably end up wondering if the waiter spit in your food. (I don't know what the "spit" analogy refers to in the broad political sense, but I'm always left wondering if someone has spit in my food.)
Oh, how I long for a viable third political party - but the odds of that happening are as likely as a new religion skipping "cult" status and heading directly to "church" standing. Basically, one would need an Independent to win the Presidency outright and then start his or her own political party for such a thing to.. but I digress.
I was talking about November. I know we have months to go before the election. In that time, we'll have loads of campaign advertising, debates, two national conventions and numerous references to the spirit of "The Gipper". Loads of twists and turns can happen between now and the election - just ask Howard Dean. He went from front-runner to has-been faster than Pauly Shore and MC Hammer combined.
But, as you continue your decision process, I ask you this..
To continue with the restaurant analogy, if you pulled your brand new sports car up to the parking valet at a posh Los Angeles eatery and you see two available valets - Kerry and Bush - who do you give the keys to your car? If you can afford both the posh restaurant and the sports car, you are probably in the tax bracket most rewarded by Bush's past term - but I bet you'll still hesitate. Cause that look in Bush's eyes just screams out one word:
"JOYRIDE!"
wojr
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
And I'm Not Talking About The Porn Version of the Fairy Tales
As an adult, I find myself having a real problem with Fairy Tales. The one common thread of those classic stories that bothers me is the ungodly lengths the male characters seem to go to in order to get some trim. You have princes going after chicks locked in ivory towers, asleep in magical comas and, even, lodged in the belly of a transvestite wolf.
Where, may I ask you, were all the whores of the time? Prostitution is the world's oldest profession. Therefore, they were around back then. Their services must have been available. Did these princes know this? Did they know that they did not have to face mythical beasts and bitchy witches in their pursuit of the fuzzy clam? Hell, even a saucy bar maid in one of those stories would sway some of my concerns.
Now, Kings knew better. They had the ladies chasing them. They must have known where to get some on the side because a lady's bedroom skills alone were not enough to ensnare one of these fine fellows. To get their feminine grips into one of the "Big Boys", ladies needed to weave gold or, at least, have a magical pet. Proving again that it was good to be the King.
I know what some of you are thinking. These Fairy Tales have been lightened up for the sake of the children over the years. They used to be much darker and more diabolical. Maybe there once was a version of these tales were Prince Charming got bored shagging bar wenches and chambermaids and wanted to track down some of the "Hard to Get" ladies. Maybe he went after them on some sort of dare from his drinking buddies. I'd rather have that then the current versions with their misguided, puritanical views of the opposite sex.
These fairy tales, as they stand now, really have great affect on young formative female minds, creating unrealistic expectations for the male populace. These stories cause many ladies to forego sex with many nice, able-bodied men in their quest for Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armor. Don't believe me? Do you imagine Prince William would get as much play as he does if he was the son of a roofer from Torrance? (Not unless he ended up in a boy band.)
So, what can we do about this problem? Besides making even more pornographic versions of these classics and switching them with the versions in the children's video section, I suggest a treasure trove of "lost" fairy tales be "found". They could be like the Dead Sea Scrolls of Aesop or the Brothers Grimm. I can envision the titles now: "The Juicy Adventures of Wendy, the Bar Wench", "Unicorns with Soft Fleshy Horns", "Mystical Dwarven Gang Bang".
These new tales could teach prepubescent ladies that there are many ways to "live happily ever after" and guarantee the men of tomorrow will be better off. (Then again, what have the "men of tomorrow" done for me?)
wojr
As an adult, I find myself having a real problem with Fairy Tales. The one common thread of those classic stories that bothers me is the ungodly lengths the male characters seem to go to in order to get some trim. You have princes going after chicks locked in ivory towers, asleep in magical comas and, even, lodged in the belly of a transvestite wolf.
Where, may I ask you, were all the whores of the time? Prostitution is the world's oldest profession. Therefore, they were around back then. Their services must have been available. Did these princes know this? Did they know that they did not have to face mythical beasts and bitchy witches in their pursuit of the fuzzy clam? Hell, even a saucy bar maid in one of those stories would sway some of my concerns.
Now, Kings knew better. They had the ladies chasing them. They must have known where to get some on the side because a lady's bedroom skills alone were not enough to ensnare one of these fine fellows. To get their feminine grips into one of the "Big Boys", ladies needed to weave gold or, at least, have a magical pet. Proving again that it was good to be the King.
I know what some of you are thinking. These Fairy Tales have been lightened up for the sake of the children over the years. They used to be much darker and more diabolical. Maybe there once was a version of these tales were Prince Charming got bored shagging bar wenches and chambermaids and wanted to track down some of the "Hard to Get" ladies. Maybe he went after them on some sort of dare from his drinking buddies. I'd rather have that then the current versions with their misguided, puritanical views of the opposite sex.
These fairy tales, as they stand now, really have great affect on young formative female minds, creating unrealistic expectations for the male populace. These stories cause many ladies to forego sex with many nice, able-bodied men in their quest for Prince Charming or a Knight in Shining Armor. Don't believe me? Do you imagine Prince William would get as much play as he does if he was the son of a roofer from Torrance? (Not unless he ended up in a boy band.)
So, what can we do about this problem? Besides making even more pornographic versions of these classics and switching them with the versions in the children's video section, I suggest a treasure trove of "lost" fairy tales be "found". They could be like the Dead Sea Scrolls of Aesop or the Brothers Grimm. I can envision the titles now: "The Juicy Adventures of Wendy, the Bar Wench", "Unicorns with Soft Fleshy Horns", "Mystical Dwarven Gang Bang".
These new tales could teach prepubescent ladies that there are many ways to "live happily ever after" and guarantee the men of tomorrow will be better off. (Then again, what have the "men of tomorrow" done for me?)
wojr
