wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, July 23, 2004
NO HASIDIC JEWS WERE HARMED IN MAKING THIS COMIC
That's actually really difficult, because they're rather fragile.
The latest comic can be found here and I swear that the man mentioned in it really exists. I have seen him and I think he is single.
wojr
That's actually really difficult, because they're rather fragile.
The latest comic can be found here and I swear that the man mentioned in it really exists. I have seen him and I think he is single.
wojr
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Broncatello, We Hardly Knew Ya
The long promised and often delayed obituary for Broncatello can be found here.
My favorite line has to be - "claiming that he was amassing some strange form of Oompa Loompa army." Like there would be a form of Oompa Loompa army that was not strange.
wojr
The long promised and often delayed obituary for Broncatello can be found here.
My favorite line has to be - "claiming that he was amassing some strange form of Oompa Loompa army." Like there would be a form of Oompa Loompa army that was not strange.
wojr
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
I Could Be the Meat in a Linda Ronstadt-Whoopi Goldberg Sandwich
We are living in unusual times.
For saying disparaging and allegedly obscene remarks against President Bush at a pro-Kerry rally, Whoopi Goldberg was fired as spokesperson for the dietary product, Slimfast.
Linda Ronstadt (who, I was shocked to find out, is not Canadian) was kicked out of the Aladdin Casino in Las Vegas for verbally supporting Michael Moore and recommending his pseudo-documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, to her audience. When the spectators responded with boos and various disparaging & allegedly obscene remarks, the British general manager had Ronstadt escorted off the premises and banned her from performing at the Aladdin Casino.
When I hear about some British guy firing an American from a Middle Eastern themed gambling establishment, I have to stop and wonder if we all are actually plugged into the "Matrix" and that the machines are just having a blast fucking with us. But of course, I have to assume what is happening around us is actually reality; a reality that just bothers the shit out of me.
It's not just my own person Liberal bias that is bothering me. If people were getting shit-canned for bad-mouthing Kerry and recommending that everyone watch a Schwarzenegger film, I'd still be upset.
What bothers me most isn't even that a dietary supplement and a casino are supposedly taking the high moral ground here. Although, you just know if Paris Hilton offered to re-enact her scandalous movie footage onstage at the Aladdin while smothered in gallons of Slimfast shakes, both companies would give it serious contention.
The thing that really bugs me is how Aladdin and Slimfast get all this free publicity out of the deal. (If anyone should get free publicity, it’s me.) I mean really, who gives half a shit about a crappy casino and a dietary supplement for people too lazy to adopt a proper diet? I haven't paid either any attention before this and I doubt I will ever again. Of course, one could argue that Ronstadt and Goldberg received some free exposure as well, but these ladies were hired, Goldberg especially, to promote these business with there already established celebrity. When more publicity, especially the free kind, could be obtained, the businesses went for it and tossed the ladies aside. Two more jobs lost thanks to America's current political leadership. (Sorry for the obvious joke, but I...
Hey, what's going on here? I'm trying to finish my rant.
Hey! HEY! HEY!
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INTERUPTION BUT WOJR.COM HAS AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
Michael "wojr" Wojciak has been fired from wojr.com for promoting concepts in direct opposition to the beliefs of our website. Wojr.com has long been a strong supporter of thin chicks and free booze. Slimfast and Aladdin, although not alone in their efforts, do help make these things possible. Although we thank Mr. Wojciak for giving us the mental image of a naked and undulating Paris Hilton bathed in a sea of Slimfast goodness, we find his actions inexcusable and, frankly, a little trite.
NOW, WHERE'S OUR FREE PUBLICITY, AMERICA?
The new management at wojr.com
We are living in unusual times.
For saying disparaging and allegedly obscene remarks against President Bush at a pro-Kerry rally, Whoopi Goldberg was fired as spokesperson for the dietary product, Slimfast.
Linda Ronstadt (who, I was shocked to find out, is not Canadian) was kicked out of the Aladdin Casino in Las Vegas for verbally supporting Michael Moore and recommending his pseudo-documentary, Fahrenheit 9/11, to her audience. When the spectators responded with boos and various disparaging & allegedly obscene remarks, the British general manager had Ronstadt escorted off the premises and banned her from performing at the Aladdin Casino.
When I hear about some British guy firing an American from a Middle Eastern themed gambling establishment, I have to stop and wonder if we all are actually plugged into the "Matrix" and that the machines are just having a blast fucking with us. But of course, I have to assume what is happening around us is actually reality; a reality that just bothers the shit out of me.
It's not just my own person Liberal bias that is bothering me. If people were getting shit-canned for bad-mouthing Kerry and recommending that everyone watch a Schwarzenegger film, I'd still be upset.
What bothers me most isn't even that a dietary supplement and a casino are supposedly taking the high moral ground here. Although, you just know if Paris Hilton offered to re-enact her scandalous movie footage onstage at the Aladdin while smothered in gallons of Slimfast shakes, both companies would give it serious contention.
The thing that really bugs me is how Aladdin and Slimfast get all this free publicity out of the deal. (If anyone should get free publicity, it’s me.) I mean really, who gives half a shit about a crappy casino and a dietary supplement for people too lazy to adopt a proper diet? I haven't paid either any attention before this and I doubt I will ever again. Of course, one could argue that Ronstadt and Goldberg received some free exposure as well, but these ladies were hired, Goldberg especially, to promote these business with there already established celebrity. When more publicity, especially the free kind, could be obtained, the businesses went for it and tossed the ladies aside. Two more jobs lost thanks to America's current political leadership. (Sorry for the obvious joke, but I...
Hey, what's going on here? I'm trying to finish my rant.
Hey! HEY! HEY!
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INTERUPTION BUT WOJR.COM HAS AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
Michael "wojr" Wojciak has been fired from wojr.com for promoting concepts in direct opposition to the beliefs of our website. Wojr.com has long been a strong supporter of thin chicks and free booze. Slimfast and Aladdin, although not alone in their efforts, do help make these things possible. Although we thank Mr. Wojciak for giving us the mental image of a naked and undulating Paris Hilton bathed in a sea of Slimfast goodness, we find his actions inexcusable and, frankly, a little trite.
NOW, WHERE'S OUR FREE PUBLICITY, AMERICA?
The new management at wojr.com
