wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, May 13, 2005
HOLY RETURN OF THE 5PM SEND-OFF!!
No caption can possibly make this image funnier ...or less disturbing!
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY!
wojr
No caption can possibly make this image funnier ...or less disturbing!
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY!
wojr
Dave Chappelle Has Built an Igloo Out of Crack - Film at Eleven
Bestiality jokes will have to wait. Japanese sex cults need to be put on hold. Emasculating wedding showers can not take priority. There is just one topic consuming all of my attention and cynicism.
By now, most of you had heard the rumors.
Dave Chappelle has gone nuts.
Dave Chappelle has become a real life 'Tyrone Bigguns'.
Dave Chappelle has checked into a South African Insane Asylum.
Dave Chappelle is busy "tossing salads" as part of Wayne Brady's man-stable.
Dave Chappelle just turned into a lion and mutilated 42 Cambodian Midgets.
You know what I think? I think Dave Chappelle is fucking with us. That this is just one giant publicity stunt and we are all being played as dopes. But then again I'm a cynical bastard. I have no actual proof, but when has that stopped me before?
Conspiracy Brother Point One: Comedy Central paid Chappelle $50 million, not just for future shows, but in relation to the hugely successful DVD sets. The Season One set is still the top-selling TV Series DVD. Season Two comes out on DVD May 24th. Do you think all this press will help or hurt the overall sales of that DVD set, one that already contained the hugely successful 'Rick James' episode? I sense a brand new Top Selling TV DVD set and it's not Season Eight of M*A*S*H.
Conspiracy Brother Point Two: South Africa?? First of all, I checked & the US has an extradition treaty with South Africa. (And I actually looked it up - I didn't just ask Raj.) So, Chappelle can't hide there with his millions. Viacom can get him there. Second, I realize I have never been or will be an African-American but I imagine if I was, the last place I would want to be locked up is South Africa. Of course, if Chappelle is crazy, South Africa might seem like the logical choice.
Conspiracy Brother Point Three: A nut-house? Chappelle's own show depicts how the black community avoids psychological therapy. But that's not my real issue. Since I know when I personally get my big Hollywood paycheck and have my subsequent nervous breakdown, I won't be in rehab or a mental institution. I'll be barricaded in Robert Shapiro's office with a mountain of cocaine, a bevy of one-legged prostitutes and an army of lawyers scrambling to secure my millions. But I'm just a cracker and we are more prone to hide behind our lawyers. Take Michael Jackson, for example.
Conspiracy Brother Point Four: Speaking of crackers, where's Neil Brennan? Along with our missing "Conspiracy Brother", he co-created the show. Along with Chappelle, he got the massive payday. Why haven't we heard from him? Has he gone missing too or is he coordinating this entire thing? Personally, if I hooked up with David Chappelle, made a TV show that got my ass paid and then watched Chappelle mess up my chances of keeping that said money, you all would not hear the end of it. I would be on every news program I could find. I would start my own reality television show - "Watch Me Hunt Down and Kill Dave Chappelle". I'm telling you his skinny ass would need some kind of modern day Harriet Tubman and a magical Underground Railroad to keep me from finding him.
Conspiracy Brother Point Five: We deserve it. Weblogs. US Weekly. Entertainment Tonight. Defamer. Access Hollywood. Dr. Phil. E! News Live. The Drudge Report. Someone needs to take their collective complacent asses and run them through the meat grinder. And if you asked me the best way for a comedian like Dave Chappelle to do that - well, it would be this.
Makes me wonder if Rick James is even dead.
More importantly, makes me wonder if I can get a crack igloo and some one-legged trollops.
wojr
Bestiality jokes will have to wait. Japanese sex cults need to be put on hold. Emasculating wedding showers can not take priority. There is just one topic consuming all of my attention and cynicism.
By now, most of you had heard the rumors.
Dave Chappelle has gone nuts.
Dave Chappelle has become a real life 'Tyrone Bigguns'.
Dave Chappelle has checked into a South African Insane Asylum.
Dave Chappelle is busy "tossing salads" as part of Wayne Brady's man-stable.
Dave Chappelle just turned into a lion and mutilated 42 Cambodian Midgets.
You know what I think? I think Dave Chappelle is fucking with us. That this is just one giant publicity stunt and we are all being played as dopes. But then again I'm a cynical bastard. I have no actual proof, but when has that stopped me before?
Conspiracy Brother Point One: Comedy Central paid Chappelle $50 million, not just for future shows, but in relation to the hugely successful DVD sets. The Season One set is still the top-selling TV Series DVD. Season Two comes out on DVD May 24th. Do you think all this press will help or hurt the overall sales of that DVD set, one that already contained the hugely successful 'Rick James' episode? I sense a brand new Top Selling TV DVD set and it's not Season Eight of M*A*S*H.
Conspiracy Brother Point Two: South Africa?? First of all, I checked & the US has an extradition treaty with South Africa. (And I actually looked it up - I didn't just ask Raj.) So, Chappelle can't hide there with his millions. Viacom can get him there. Second, I realize I have never been or will be an African-American but I imagine if I was, the last place I would want to be locked up is South Africa. Of course, if Chappelle is crazy, South Africa might seem like the logical choice.
Conspiracy Brother Point Three: A nut-house? Chappelle's own show depicts how the black community avoids psychological therapy. But that's not my real issue. Since I know when I personally get my big Hollywood paycheck and have my subsequent nervous breakdown, I won't be in rehab or a mental institution. I'll be barricaded in Robert Shapiro's office with a mountain of cocaine, a bevy of one-legged prostitutes and an army of lawyers scrambling to secure my millions. But I'm just a cracker and we are more prone to hide behind our lawyers. Take Michael Jackson, for example.
Conspiracy Brother Point Four: Speaking of crackers, where's Neil Brennan? Along with our missing "Conspiracy Brother", he co-created the show. Along with Chappelle, he got the massive payday. Why haven't we heard from him? Has he gone missing too or is he coordinating this entire thing? Personally, if I hooked up with David Chappelle, made a TV show that got my ass paid and then watched Chappelle mess up my chances of keeping that said money, you all would not hear the end of it. I would be on every news program I could find. I would start my own reality television show - "Watch Me Hunt Down and Kill Dave Chappelle". I'm telling you his skinny ass would need some kind of modern day Harriet Tubman and a magical Underground Railroad to keep me from finding him.
Conspiracy Brother Point Five: We deserve it. Weblogs. US Weekly. Entertainment Tonight. Defamer. Access Hollywood. Dr. Phil. E! News Live. The Drudge Report. Someone needs to take their collective complacent asses and run them through the meat grinder. And if you asked me the best way for a comedian like Dave Chappelle to do that - well, it would be this.
Makes me wonder if Rick James is even dead.
More importantly, makes me wonder if I can get a crack igloo and some one-legged trollops.
wojr
