wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Thursday, August 04, 2005
If You Can Look Hot in a Mug Shot, Then You're My Kind of Lady
As I’ve previously shown, I have a bizarre fascination with mug shots. While I do prefer ones of an historical nature, these just could not be passed up.
From The Smoking Gun:
"In a lunchtime undercover operation, Florida cops yesterday busted 15 strippers on a variety of criminal charges, including prostitution and exposure of a sexual organ."
While this one positively frightens me:
It is this shot that truly captures my heart:
She just seems so happy to be there!!
For the whole story and the rest of the mug shots, click here.
wojr
As I’ve previously shown, I have a bizarre fascination with mug shots. While I do prefer ones of an historical nature, these just could not be passed up.
From The Smoking Gun:
"In a lunchtime undercover operation, Florida cops yesterday busted 15 strippers on a variety of criminal charges, including prostitution and exposure of a sexual organ."
While this one positively frightens me:
It is this shot that truly captures my heart:
She just seems so happy to be there!!
For the whole story and the rest of the mug shots, click here.
wojr
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Summer of '05: Revenge of the Twelve Year Old Wojr
A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that if I was my twelve year old self then this would be one of the coolest summers ever.
First off, my summer would kick off with a new Star Wars film. Not only could my twelve year old self (MTYOS) enjoy the film without the bad taste of Jar Jar & his midiclorians in my mouth, but MTYOS wouldn't see the romance between Anakin & Padme to be a thing of awkwardness and clunky dialogue. Hell, MTYOS still expected Leia to wise up and dump Han to get her groove on with Luke.
Secondly, my twelve year old self would get a kickass Batman movie to entertain him. True, MTYOS was more of a Marvel Zombie in terms of comic book love, but even he would cringe at the trailers for the Fantastic Four movie. Again, MTYOS would benefit from not seeing any of the "nipples on the bat-suit" bad Batman movies. True, he might be upset that Adam West wasn't playing the title character, but the young lad wouldn't mind that once he laid eyes on Katie Holmes. My taste in the ladies hasn't changed in the last two decades, just the things I would like to do with/to them. (MTYOS also wouldn't have any problems with Katie dating Tom Cruise. In addition to being aware of the inherent creepiness of Scientology, the younger Wojr, being unaware of the homoerotic subtext, loved Top Gun. FREE KATIE!)
Speaking of MTYOS's taste in the ladies, (Can you tell I added that Tom Cruise bit afterwards??? Oh, I’m sorry – am I distracting you?) did I mention the wayward youth's undying love for a certain Daisy Duke? Like most male members of my age group, Daisy Duke awoke urges and desires that I never knew I had. Throw in the General Lee, explosive arrows, and a guy named Cooter and it is no surprise that CBS owned my prepubescent ass on Friday nights. (Like how I made CBS seem like a pedophile there? I know you did.) Now, my adult self has some apprehensions related to the upcoming motion picture version of The Dukes of Hazzard
. However, MTYOS would not share in any of those doubts. MTYOS would see a show like Jackass as a perfect launching pad for a movie career. (For sake of full disclosure, MTYOS, as I previously stated, had a fetish for Megaforce.) Plus, he wouldn't feel guilty that Jessica Simpson gave him wood even with her lack of intellect (and abundant plastic surgery). You see, MTYOS was an ardent Charlie's Angels disciple; despite a preference for Kate Jackson, I wasn't interested in them for their detective skills – so lacking common sense was not a turn-off for that 12 year old.
And what's the last summer tent pole picture that seems designed to appease my twelve year old self? Just a film adaptation of a book by one of his favorite authors, Roald Dahl. Although, he probably would have preferred Danny, the Champion of the World over another version of Charlie and the Chocalate Factory. (A sentiment shared by his adult counterpart (and by "his", I mean me.)) Plus, MTYOS didn’t know that Michael Jackson liked to bugger twelve year old boys – so, Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Willy Wonka probably wouldn’t have freaked him out.
So, as I examine the similarity between this summer's film slate and the cinematic wish list of my more youthful persona, I am simultaneously filled with both feelings of hope and disgust. My optimistic side feels hopeful that this trend will eventually led to a modern version of Tales of the Gold Monkey. (What can I say? I have tunnel vision when it comes to drunk mechanics and one-eyed dogs.) On the flip side of that coin, I feel some bile at the back of my throat when I recognize one stone cold fact: A leading reason that these films are getting green-lit is that individuals in my age group are getting them made; individuals that are clearly not me. Man, I could be making mad Hollywood dollars thinking up this shit. But, I am not. I shouldn't be upset. I have this blog. That and my army of robot monkeys should suit me just fine.
wojr
A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that if I was my twelve year old self then this would be one of the coolest summers ever.
First off, my summer would kick off with a new Star Wars film. Not only could my twelve year old self (MTYOS) enjoy the film without the bad taste of Jar Jar & his midiclorians in my mouth, but MTYOS wouldn't see the romance between Anakin & Padme to be a thing of awkwardness and clunky dialogue. Hell, MTYOS still expected Leia to wise up and dump Han to get her groove on with Luke.
Secondly, my twelve year old self would get a kickass Batman movie to entertain him. True, MTYOS was more of a Marvel Zombie in terms of comic book love, but even he would cringe at the trailers for the Fantastic Four movie. Again, MTYOS would benefit from not seeing any of the "nipples on the bat-suit" bad Batman movies. True, he might be upset that Adam West wasn't playing the title character, but the young lad wouldn't mind that once he laid eyes on Katie Holmes. My taste in the ladies hasn't changed in the last two decades, just the things I would like to do with/to them. (MTYOS also wouldn't have any problems with Katie dating Tom Cruise. In addition to being aware of the inherent creepiness of Scientology, the younger Wojr, being unaware of the homoerotic subtext, loved Top Gun. FREE KATIE!)
Speaking of MTYOS's taste in the ladies, (Can you tell I added that Tom Cruise bit afterwards??? Oh, I’m sorry – am I distracting you?) did I mention the wayward youth's undying love for a certain Daisy Duke? Like most male members of my age group, Daisy Duke awoke urges and desires that I never knew I had. Throw in the General Lee, explosive arrows, and a guy named Cooter and it is no surprise that CBS owned my prepubescent ass on Friday nights. (Like how I made CBS seem like a pedophile there? I know you did.) Now, my adult self has some apprehensions related to the upcoming motion picture version of The Dukes of Hazzard
. However, MTYOS would not share in any of those doubts. MTYOS would see a show like Jackass as a perfect launching pad for a movie career. (For sake of full disclosure, MTYOS, as I previously stated, had a fetish for Megaforce.) Plus, he wouldn't feel guilty that Jessica Simpson gave him wood even with her lack of intellect (and abundant plastic surgery). You see, MTYOS was an ardent Charlie's Angels disciple; despite a preference for Kate Jackson, I wasn't interested in them for their detective skills – so lacking common sense was not a turn-off for that 12 year old.And what's the last summer tent pole picture that seems designed to appease my twelve year old self? Just a film adaptation of a book by one of his favorite authors, Roald Dahl. Although, he probably would have preferred Danny, the Champion of the World
over another version of Charlie and the Chocalate Factory. (A sentiment shared by his adult counterpart (and by "his", I mean me.)) Plus, MTYOS didn’t know that Michael Jackson liked to bugger twelve year old boys – so, Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Willy Wonka probably wouldn’t have freaked him out.So, as I examine the similarity between this summer's film slate and the cinematic wish list of my more youthful persona, I am simultaneously filled with both feelings of hope and disgust. My optimistic side feels hopeful that this trend will eventually led to a modern version of Tales of the Gold Monkey. (What can I say? I have tunnel vision when it comes to drunk mechanics and one-eyed dogs.) On the flip side of that coin, I feel some bile at the back of my throat when I recognize one stone cold fact: A leading reason that these films are getting green-lit is that individuals in my age group are getting them made; individuals that are clearly not me. Man, I could be making mad Hollywood dollars thinking up this shit. But, I am not. I shouldn't be upset. I have this blog. That and my army of robot monkeys should suit me just fine.
wojr
