wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Do You Think USA Today Takes Request on Their Pie Charts?
I'll be honest. I'm a little jealous that Pat Robertson doesn't pray for my assassination. Is that too much to ask for? Just to be noticed, Pat? I mean, you never return my calls or emails. I really miss our special times together. You know, all the backrubs, uncomfortable silences and decrees of eternal damnation. Ahhh, good times.
In all seriousness though, I am enjoying Robertson's quasi-meltdown and the subsequent Republican backpedaling. I just love me a good backpedal.
However, I'm not here to throw stones at the conservatives. Just wanted to discuss something that Pat Robertson's comments brought to mind.
You see, no matter what political ideology you subscribe to or party label you like to figuratively adhere to yourself, some of the people that agree with you will be crazy folk, utter tunes of the Looney variety. These people are everywhere and support a wide variety of causes and political philosophies.
Ponder this, if you made pie charts, one for liberals in America and another for conservatives, breaking up those that had psychological issues and those who didn't, you would probably find the percentages to be pretty much equal. It's just you are more prone to hear about something wacky shit the liberals are up to rather than the crazy notions of the conservatives.
And there is a good reason for that.
Liberals are just plum crazy in more various ways than conservatives. Hell, we got lunatics that want to rewrite the calendar (some that want a eight day week and others that want a 13 month year), feminists that want to melt down all the Barbies & make one anatomically correct, gigantic statue saluting fat chicks everywhere, speed freaks that are upset they can't get their meth inside the 7-11 rather than in the parking lot and always one freak with an anal probe fixation. And that's only the ones in the House of Representatives, the Senate is even worse. (Kidding)
And liberals, by their very definition, need to be accepting of their various whackos. We can't turn them away. It's in our creed or something. Conservatives, on the other hand, try to keep their insane in the closet (along with their homosexuals) but every so often one gets by them. However, when we encounter one of their emotionally imbalanced, they always seem to be crazy in the same way.
They always seem to be building some time machine to get everyone back to an idyllic time that never existed in the first place; some Norman Rockwell painting saluting Whitey and his utopian, nuclear family as they slay the gangster rapper and his white hos. (And by "slay", I really mean, "use as cheap labor".)
Then again, I could be wrong. I get all caught up in my pie chart fixation and I forget.
wojr
I'll be honest. I'm a little jealous that Pat Robertson doesn't pray for my assassination. Is that too much to ask for? Just to be noticed, Pat? I mean, you never return my calls or emails. I really miss our special times together. You know, all the backrubs, uncomfortable silences and decrees of eternal damnation. Ahhh, good times.
In all seriousness though, I am enjoying Robertson's quasi-meltdown and the subsequent Republican backpedaling. I just love me a good backpedal.
However, I'm not here to throw stones at the conservatives. Just wanted to discuss something that Pat Robertson's comments brought to mind.
You see, no matter what political ideology you subscribe to or party label you like to figuratively adhere to yourself, some of the people that agree with you will be crazy folk, utter tunes of the Looney variety. These people are everywhere and support a wide variety of causes and political philosophies.
Ponder this, if you made pie charts, one for liberals in America and another for conservatives, breaking up those that had psychological issues and those who didn't, you would probably find the percentages to be pretty much equal. It's just you are more prone to hear about something wacky shit the liberals are up to rather than the crazy notions of the conservatives.
And there is a good reason for that.
Liberals are just plum crazy in more various ways than conservatives. Hell, we got lunatics that want to rewrite the calendar (some that want a eight day week and others that want a 13 month year), feminists that want to melt down all the Barbies & make one anatomically correct, gigantic statue saluting fat chicks everywhere, speed freaks that are upset they can't get their meth inside the 7-11 rather than in the parking lot and always one freak with an anal probe fixation. And that's only the ones in the House of Representatives, the Senate is even worse. (Kidding)
And liberals, by their very definition, need to be accepting of their various whackos. We can't turn them away. It's in our creed or something. Conservatives, on the other hand, try to keep their insane in the closet (along with their homosexuals) but every so often one gets by them. However, when we encounter one of their emotionally imbalanced, they always seem to be crazy in the same way.
They always seem to be building some time machine to get everyone back to an idyllic time that never existed in the first place; some Norman Rockwell painting saluting Whitey and his utopian, nuclear family as they slay the gangster rapper and his white hos. (And by "slay", I really mean, "use as cheap labor".)
Then again, I could be wrong. I get all caught up in my pie chart fixation and I forget.
wojr
Friday, August 26, 2005
I'd Wager That Isn't the Only Type of Porn He Loves!!!
Is it wrong that I take such glee in seeing someone's mugshot?
You bet your sweet ass it's wrong!! That's why I take the glee in the first place!
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY!
ONE WEEK UNTIL A NEW THINGS!!
wojr
Is it wrong that I take such glee in seeing someone's mugshot?
You bet your sweet ass it's wrong!! That's why I take the glee in the first place!
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY!
ONE WEEK UNTIL A NEW THINGS!!
wojr
My Real Doll Never Goes to Church Anymore
Found via Attu Sees All:
I'll be honest. These images creep me out but, that Downing kid, he shows promise.
Click here for the gallery. (Warning: some of the images contain synthetic nudity.)
wojr
Found via Attu Sees All:
Real Live Dolls and their owners. While making these photographs, Dorfman became a solitary witness to the secret lives of the dolls and the people who own them.
I'll be honest. These images creep me out but, that Downing kid, he shows promise.
Click here for the gallery. (Warning: some of the images contain synthetic nudity.)
wojr
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
A Naked Katie Holmes Could Only Be A Good Thing
Dan Brown has offered up an atypical commentary on celebrity sex tapes over at MSNBC.com, suggesting such crazy thoughts as:
He goes on to propose that sex tape would be "a boon to celebrities because they help generate tons of publicity."
So, immediately my mind goes to all the attractive celebrities and pseudo-celebrities that would make for some quality adult entertainment, all the time keeping in mind one of stalwart axioms in my life. "Nothing fucks like crazy." When suddenly, it dawns on me who needs to make a sex tape:
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes.
Honestly, a quality sex tape featuring these two would be the ultimate boon to not only their respective careers but to Scientology as a religion. First, it would dispel most "Tom Cruise likes the man meat" rumors that have been looming for years (as long as the video lacked any Greco-Roman wrestling.) Secondly, Katie would shed some of good girl/innocent image and be able to sink her teeth into some meatier roles. Most importantly though, if the Church of Scientology showed two of its most prominent members getting their groove on in a somewhat normal sexual fashion (i.e. no anal probes or special headgear), it would go a long way in showing that they weren't a bunch of loons. Really, it's the people that can't take the time out of their busy day to make a sex tape that I’m worried about. Those are the freaks that are out to take over the world, fly shit into skyscrapers or vote Republican.
The sexually obsessed don't worry me. It’s the religious zealots that scare the crap out of me.
Then again, I don’t have a daughter. If I did, I’d be ultra-protective and try to shelter her from the sexually obsessed pricks like me. Of course, she would rebel and end up in a sex tape. Probably with some crappy celebrity, like Pauly Shore.
There you go, I'm predicting it now. My daughter is going to bang a geriatric Pauly Shore and you'll all be able to watch. That’s almost as frightening as the Tom Sizemore sex tape. Almost.
wojr
Dan Brown has offered up an atypical commentary on celebrity sex tapes over at MSNBC.com, suggesting such crazy thoughts as:
A sex tape might embarrass a celebrity. It might shed light on that celebrity's bedroom habits. It might even reveal, contrary to what we in the public want to believe, that a given celebrity is not a tender and attentive lover. But the one thing a sex tape won’t do is put a dent in someone’s career.
He goes on to propose that sex tape would be "a boon to celebrities because they help generate tons of publicity."
So, immediately my mind goes to all the attractive celebrities and pseudo-celebrities that would make for some quality adult entertainment, all the time keeping in mind one of stalwart axioms in my life. "Nothing fucks like crazy." When suddenly, it dawns on me who needs to make a sex tape:
Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes.
Honestly, a quality sex tape featuring these two would be the ultimate boon to not only their respective careers but to Scientology as a religion. First, it would dispel most "Tom Cruise likes the man meat" rumors that have been looming for years (as long as the video lacked any Greco-Roman wrestling.) Secondly, Katie would shed some of good girl/innocent image and be able to sink her teeth into some meatier roles. Most importantly though, if the Church of Scientology showed two of its most prominent members getting their groove on in a somewhat normal sexual fashion (i.e. no anal probes or special headgear), it would go a long way in showing that they weren't a bunch of loons. Really, it's the people that can't take the time out of their busy day to make a sex tape that I’m worried about. Those are the freaks that are out to take over the world, fly shit into skyscrapers or vote Republican.
The sexually obsessed don't worry me. It’s the religious zealots that scare the crap out of me.
Then again, I don’t have a daughter. If I did, I’d be ultra-protective and try to shelter her from the sexually obsessed pricks like me. Of course, she would rebel and end up in a sex tape. Probably with some crappy celebrity, like Pauly Shore.
There you go, I'm predicting it now. My daughter is going to bang a geriatric Pauly Shore and you'll all be able to watch. That’s almost as frightening as the Tom Sizemore sex tape. Almost.
wojr
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
"Well, I said I best be goin'"
From eonline.com:
"Well, I said I best be goin', I couldn't do nothin' for her, an' she said, oh, yes I could. An' I asked her what, and she said to jus' step on the chair yonder an' git that box down from on top of the chifforobe."
I can't recall if I have discussed my profound love for To Kill A Mockingbird
on the site yet. Both the book and the film rank as all time faves in the wojr household. The sequence where Reverend Sykes tells Scout "Stand up, your father's passing" probably is my favorite moment captured on celluloid. Hell, my two cats are even named Boo and Radley. So, I had to quickly point out Brock Peters' passing.
While the film is lucky enough to mine Harper Lee's classic novel as its source material, the film's success, in my opinion, is definitely due to the strong performances of its excellent cast. From Gregory Peck's Atticus Finch to Mary Badham's Scout to Bobby Duvall's Boo Radley, all the performances just sell the story and prevent the film from becoming maudlin, especially Peters' soulful portrayal of doomed Robinson. Each cast member truly embodies their character. To such an extent that I can't read the novel without picturing the faces and hearing of the voices of the actors and actresses in my mind. (Yes, not the first or last time I'll hear voices in my head.)
So, if you haven't seen To Kill A Mockingbird, please take the time to seek it out (if only to find out what a chifforobe is).
wojr
From eonline.com:
Brock Peters, best known for his role as the falsely accused rapist defended by Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird, had died of pancreatic cancer at age 78.Tom Robinson has passed away.
"Well, I said I best be goin', I couldn't do nothin' for her, an' she said, oh, yes I could. An' I asked her what, and she said to jus' step on the chair yonder an' git that box down from on top of the chifforobe."
I can't recall if I have discussed my profound love for To Kill A Mockingbird
on the site yet. Both the book and the film rank as all time faves in the wojr household. The sequence where Reverend Sykes tells Scout "Stand up, your father's passing" probably is my favorite moment captured on celluloid. Hell, my two cats are even named Boo and Radley. So, I had to quickly point out Brock Peters' passing.While the film is lucky enough to mine Harper Lee's classic novel as its source material, the film's success, in my opinion, is definitely due to the strong performances of its excellent cast. From Gregory Peck's Atticus Finch to Mary Badham's Scout to Bobby Duvall's Boo Radley, all the performances just sell the story and prevent the film from becoming maudlin, especially Peters' soulful portrayal of doomed Robinson. Each cast member truly embodies their character. To such an extent that I can't read the novel without picturing the faces and hearing of the voices of the actors and actresses in my mind. (Yes, not the first or last time I'll hear voices in my head.)
So, if you haven't seen To Kill A Mockingbird
, please take the time to seek it out (if only to find out what a chifforobe is).wojr
Monday, August 22, 2005
"Aren't You a Little Tall to Be a Bank Robber?"
From The Janesville Gazette:
(This story is just one more reason for me to avoid visiting Wisconsin, Mud.)
Personally, I like how they make sure everyone knows that he is a "soldier of the Galactic Empire." Definitely need to make that distinction clear.
But it does bring up a dilemma that has always concerned me. Whenever I see those vast platoons of Stormtroopers at the San Diego Comicon, it dawns on me that not all these Star Wars enthusiasts are actually from San Diego. Some of these sexually-deprived individuals must fly down to southern California, especially the Wisconsin Stormtrooper contingent. How do these people get their body armor and faux firearms past airport security? Hell, I can't get my damn loafers past the check point without a thorough exam. It just seems like a lot of hassle to me.
That's why I only dress as the Rancor Keeper.
You laugh but the chicks dressed as Leia LOVE it.
wojr
From The Janesville Gazette:
"The Force wasn't with a Stormtrooper-clad attendee of the JVL-CON science fiction convention on Friday at the Ramada Inn in Janesville.
Instead, it had him surrounded.
Janesville police got a surprise when they responded to a report of an armed robbery at the Ramada Inn, 3431 Milton Ave.
The alleged suspect was dressed as a Stormtrooper, a soldier for the Galactic Empire in the science fiction movie series "Star Wars."
"Apparently some people who saw him felt there was a threat," said Sgt. Kay Nikolaus of the Janesville Police Department.
The Stormtrooper was really a vendor participating in the weekend convention, held annually at the Ramada Inn, said Joann Lewandowski, who lives with event organizer Ray Norton.
"It was kind of silly but kind of understandable," Lewandowski said.
Whoever called police must have missed the Ramada's marquee out front, which announces the convention being held there, Lewandowski said.
The Stormtrooper got a warning from police-leave the plastic laser gun inside.
So, if you're passing the Ramada this weekend and you see a little green guy with pointy ears and wearing a robe, it shouldn't be an alien concept."
(This story is just one more reason for me to avoid visiting Wisconsin, Mud.)
Personally, I like how they make sure everyone knows that he is a "soldier of the Galactic Empire." Definitely need to make that distinction clear.
But it does bring up a dilemma that has always concerned me. Whenever I see those vast platoons of Stormtroopers at the San Diego Comicon, it dawns on me that not all these Star Wars enthusiasts are actually from San Diego. Some of these sexually-deprived individuals must fly down to southern California, especially the Wisconsin Stormtrooper contingent. How do these people get their body armor and faux firearms past airport security? Hell, I can't get my damn loafers past the check point without a thorough exam. It just seems like a lot of hassle to me.
That's why I only dress as the Rancor Keeper.
You laugh but the chicks dressed as Leia LOVE it.
wojr
A Year Closer to Incontinence
While the "Age of Diddy" is only entering itsseventh sixth day, the "Age of Wojr" enters its thirty-second year today.
Yep, happy birthday to me.
Thirty-two years old. Old enough to feel guilty for looking at high school girls, but still a year away from making really good Christ analogies.
Those that are really close to me know how much I look forward to making those Christ analogies. Almost as badly as I want to bang high school girls.
Yep, I'm going to hell and I'm ok with that.
wojr
While the "Age of Diddy" is only entering its
Yep, happy birthday to me.
Thirty-two years old. Old enough to feel guilty for looking at high school girls, but still a year away from making really good Christ analogies.
Those that are really close to me know how much I look forward to making those Christ analogies. Almost as badly as I want to bang high school girls.
Yep, I'm going to hell and I'm ok with that.
wojr
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Who Needs Sleeping Pills Anymore?
Yeah, Marshall Mathers is in rehab.
For sleeping pills.
Upon hearing that less-than-audacious news tidbit, my initial comical response was "Christ, I feel sorry for people that are actually addicted to sleeping pills." With this whole "Eminem hooked on the Benzodiazepines" cover story, people that are really addicted to the pills that inspire sleep will face two types of reactions from the non-drug-addled populace. Either people will think (1) the addict is a wimp for getting hooked on a drug like sleeping pills (If you can't snort it off a hooker's ass, a drug just won't garner you any real respect.) or (2) the addict is a lying bastard that is actually hooked on the OxyCotin. Both options seem to bite the big one. Especially when you consider how easy it would be to get hooked on these pills. I mean, one minute you're a hot soccer mom just trying to find an easy cure for some insomnia and, the next thing you know, you're giving hand jobs to your local pharmacist for a few extra pills. It's just a shameful thing that Eminem shouldn't try to use to his own advantage. (Though, makes you wonder though how difficult pharmacy school would be. Right?)
Personally, I'd wager that Marshall falls into the second aforementioned category and is hooked on the Oxy worse that a thirteen year old with a severe zit condition. (Yeah, even I groaned at that one.) Of course, I have no real proof of this, but it was just announced earlier this week that Eminem would be canceling his upcoming European tour due to "exhaustion." Well, we all know that "exhaustion" is code word for either "eating disorder" or "hardcore drug problem" and our young rapper doesn't look emaciated.
To be completely honest though, the whole thing just bores the shit out of me. So much so, that I think I may take a nap.
Thanks, Eminem. Between you and Diddy, you both have inspired enough apathy in me that I don't need to resort to medication to fall asleep. I just need to turn on the E! Weekend Update.
Thus, no hand job for you today, Mr. Pharmacist. I got a new drug.
wojr
Yeah, Marshall Mathers is in rehab.
For sleeping pills.
Upon hearing that less-than-audacious news tidbit, my initial comical response was "Christ, I feel sorry for people that are actually addicted to sleeping pills." With this whole "Eminem hooked on the Benzodiazepines" cover story, people that are really addicted to the pills that inspire sleep will face two types of reactions from the non-drug-addled populace. Either people will think (1) the addict is a wimp for getting hooked on a drug like sleeping pills (If you can't snort it off a hooker's ass, a drug just won't garner you any real respect.) or (2) the addict is a lying bastard that is actually hooked on the OxyCotin. Both options seem to bite the big one. Especially when you consider how easy it would be to get hooked on these pills. I mean, one minute you're a hot soccer mom just trying to find an easy cure for some insomnia and, the next thing you know, you're giving hand jobs to your local pharmacist for a few extra pills. It's just a shameful thing that Eminem shouldn't try to use to his own advantage. (Though, makes you wonder though how difficult pharmacy school would be. Right?)
Personally, I'd wager that Marshall falls into the second aforementioned category and is hooked on the Oxy worse that a thirteen year old with a severe zit condition. (Yeah, even I groaned at that one.) Of course, I have no real proof of this, but it was just announced earlier this week that Eminem would be canceling his upcoming European tour due to "exhaustion." Well, we all know that "exhaustion" is code word for either "eating disorder" or "hardcore drug problem" and our young rapper doesn't look emaciated.
To be completely honest though, the whole thing just bores the shit out of me. So much so, that I think I may take a nap.
Thanks, Eminem. Between you and Diddy, you both have inspired enough apathy in me that I don't need to resort to medication to fall asleep. I just need to turn on the E! Weekend Update.
Thus, no hand job for you today, Mr. Pharmacist. I got a new drug.
wojr
