wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, October 06, 2006
One More Reason Why wojr.com Always Verifies IDs
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY (Especially the Legal ladies)!
wojr
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY (Especially the Legal ladies)!
wojr
Labels: 5PMSendoff
An Affront to the Sanctimony of Alimony
Found on baynews9.com (via attu):
“I’m a man and I don’t want to be paying alimony to a man.”
Allow the warmth and human compassion of that statement to just wash over you.
Now, Lawrence Roach is listed in phone book. Taking that information and the wonder that is Google Earth, I was shocked to find that Lawrence does not live in a home of the mobile variety. He lives in a house and appears to have one of the greener lawns on his block.
I guess that’s why we’re reading about his plight via a respectable news outlet and not seeing it on an episode of Springer.
"If you can’t be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man?"
Opposed to illegally paying alimony to a man, Lawrence? The state of Florida needs to crack down on those illegal alimony payments. It’s bordering on a crime epidemic.
Lawrence most likely will lose his suit. He needs his ex to either die or remarry to stop the alimony payments.
Personally, if I was in Lawrence’s situation, I’d probably just keep my mouth shut, pay the alimony and hope my ex-wife meets a nice lady to re-marry. No need to let everybody know my ex is now sporting man parts.
I just hope, for Lawrence’s sake, that the ex-wife is into the ladies now. If she/he still likes the dudes, then you might see Lawrence campaigning for gay marriage to get out of his alimony dilemma.
wojr
Found on baynews9.com (via attu):
A Seminole man is fighting to stop alimony payments to his ex-wife because the woman is now a man.Let’s take a moment and bask in that. Just sit back, relax and repeat after me.
Lawrence Roach says his ex-wife has had a sex change and is now living as a man with a new identity. Roach says he should be allowed discontinue $1,200 in monthly alimony payments.
"This isn't right. It's humiliating to me and degrading," Roach said. "You know, I'm a man and I don't want to be paying alimony to a man. If you can't be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man?"
“I’m a man and I don’t want to be paying alimony to a man.”
Allow the warmth and human compassion of that statement to just wash over you.
Now, Lawrence Roach is listed in phone book. Taking that information and the wonder that is Google Earth, I was shocked to find that Lawrence does not live in a home of the mobile variety. He lives in a house and appears to have one of the greener lawns on his block.
I guess that’s why we’re reading about his plight via a respectable news outlet and not seeing it on an episode of Springer.
"If you can’t be married to a man legally, how can you legally pay alimony to a man?"
Opposed to illegally paying alimony to a man, Lawrence? The state of Florida needs to crack down on those illegal alimony payments. It’s bordering on a crime epidemic.
Lawrence most likely will lose his suit. He needs his ex to either die or remarry to stop the alimony payments.
Personally, if I was in Lawrence’s situation, I’d probably just keep my mouth shut, pay the alimony and hope my ex-wife meets a nice lady to re-marry. No need to let everybody know my ex is now sporting man parts.
I just hope, for Lawrence’s sake, that the ex-wife is into the ladies now. If she/he still likes the dudes, then you might see Lawrence campaigning for gay marriage to get out of his alimony dilemma.
wojr
Labels: Crackers, News, Sex, Snide Remarks
Thursday, October 05, 2006
The Worst “Girls Gone Wild” Tape – EVER
We have this item sent by wojr.com correspondent, Sir Phillip of Beum, found on thewbalchannel.com:
How much does it suck to get dismissed from a gig that you are VOLUNTEERING for? You’re working for free – sacrificing your time and energy. The least they could do is let you show off your tight abs. (I’m assuming the abs are tight, just like I’m assuming the two coaches are eighteen and virginal. This is my blog, right?)
Three inches of stomach equaled three complaints? Coincidence, I think not! I bet if they showed off four inches they would have racked up more – hell, they might have actually exposed belly buttons then. Seriously, get out your rulers and look at how small three inches actually is. I mean, I’m even bigger than that!
Now, from this article, some might assume Kathy Carey is a prude. Personally, I don’t know her, but I can not imagine that one gets to be President of the FREDERICK YOUTH SPORTS ASSOCIATION without having a burning fire of determination in her very soul. You know, the kind of fire and strength of will that translates very well to the bedroom. (Again, I’m assuming but it’s my blog and I’ve been sexually deprived since my girlfriend moved to the other side of the country.)
Were the three complaints from overweight people? I bet they were jealous tubbies. Or Muslim extremists. Or fat Muslim extremists.
If the cheerleaders need people to lift THEIR spirits, they must be sucky cheerleaders. Even if they were only seven or eight.
I imagine that if the cheerleaders were seven or eight, then the kids playing football were the same age. Christ, Bronc’s mom never let him play football at any age, yet these parents are letting these youngsters play. Are their skulls even fully formed yet? Maybe these fat Muslim parents should stop worrying about that extra inch of midriff and focus on the physical well-being of these kids.
If you failed to click on the link above, “Beum” is Scottish Gaelic for “to blow”.
wojr
We have this item sent by wojr.com correspondent, Sir Phillip of Beum, found on thewbalchannel.com:
The women were volunteers with the Frederick Youth Sports Association and said they only intended to raise the spirits of the 7-year-old and 8-year-old girls during a youth football game last week.This article raises several points:
With the consent of head coach Debbie Wheaton, assistant Christine Smith drew a smiley face on her own stomach -- then flashed the smiley face to get the girls to smile.
But Association president Kathy Carey wasn't smiling when she received three complaints. The coaches were dismissed two days later.
Even though Smith said she only exposed three inches of her stomach, Carey said it was inappropriate.
How much does it suck to get dismissed from a gig that you are VOLUNTEERING for? You’re working for free – sacrificing your time and energy. The least they could do is let you show off your tight abs. (I’m assuming the abs are tight, just like I’m assuming the two coaches are eighteen and virginal. This is my blog, right?) Three inches of stomach equaled three complaints? Coincidence, I think not! I bet if they showed off four inches they would have racked up more – hell, they might have actually exposed belly buttons then. Seriously, get out your rulers and look at how small three inches actually is. I mean, I’m even bigger than that! Now, from this article, some might assume Kathy Carey is a prude. Personally, I don’t know her, but I can not imagine that one gets to be President of the FREDERICK YOUTH SPORTS ASSOCIATION without having a burning fire of determination in her very soul. You know, the kind of fire and strength of will that translates very well to the bedroom. (Again, I’m assuming but it’s my blog and I’ve been sexually deprived since my girlfriend moved to the other side of the country.) Were the three complaints from overweight people? I bet they were jealous tubbies. Or Muslim extremists. Or fat Muslim extremists. If the cheerleaders need people to lift THEIR spirits, they must be sucky cheerleaders. Even if they were only seven or eight. I imagine that if the cheerleaders were seven or eight, then the kids playing football were the same age. Christ, Bronc’s mom never let him play football at any age, yet these parents are letting these youngsters play. Are their skulls even fully formed yet? Maybe these fat Muslim parents should stop worrying about that extra inch of midriff and focus on the physical well-being of these kids. If you failed to click on the link above, “Beum” is Scottish Gaelic for “to blow”.wojr
Labels: News, Snide Remarks, Whores
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Which Hole Does This One Go In?
Following last week’s butt plug modeled after George Dubya, we know have a product that is less disturbing but should inspire greater disdain.
The Dashboard Mohammed!
This comes mere days after I read the following article on news.yahoo.com (via silentbobspeaks.com):
"I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ..."
The Shiite’s don’t like a kindler, gentler Christ – One that just pops? One that just cries out to be on your dashboard?
Something tells me they’ll just hate the Dashboard Mohammed.
Coming to a jihad near you!
wojr
Following last week’s butt plug modeled after George Dubya, we know have a product that is less disturbing but should inspire greater disdain.
The Dashboard Mohammed!
It's pretty simple, really. The Dashboard Mohammed is nothing more than an attempt at a clever play on the Dashboard Jesus. It's a bobble head that can be placed on the dashboard of your car, your monitor at work, in your shower, anywhere you need spiritual uplifting and guidance.Allah help us if someone’s pooper needs uplifting. That flower/lit fuse does not look too pleasing.
This comes mere days after I read the following article on news.yahoo.com (via silentbobspeaks.com):
BAGHDAD (AFP) - Iraqi Shiite residents of Baghdad's Sadr City have expressed anger on over [sic] a picture of a grinning Jesus they mistook for a Shiite holy figure that appeared in the area after a joint US-Iraqi operation.God, I loved Kevin Smith’s script for Dogma.
Residents found a picture of "Buddy Jesus" from the 1999 film "Dogma" posted in the streets, accompanied by a badly photocopied pamphlet bearing a crude approximation of a US military crest and outlining a US "plan" to subjugate the neighborhood.
"That picture abuses our Imam Mahdi and his holy character, and mocks our sacred figures," said resident Abu Riyam Sunday, apparently mistaking the satirical movie still of Jesus for one of Shiite Islam's historical imams, whose images adopt a Jesus-like iconography.
"I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ..."
The Shiite’s don’t like a kindler, gentler Christ – One that just pops? One that just cries out to be on your dashboard?
Something tells me they’ll just hate the Dashboard Mohammed.
Coming to a jihad near you!
wojr
Labels: Hollywood, News, Religion, Snide Remarks
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Donny Osmond is The Next Hoff
While I've never been a big Weird Al fan:
This is just too good.
Little known fact: wojr is terrified of Renaissance fairs.
wojr
While I've never been a big Weird Al fan:
This is just too good.
Little known fact: wojr is terrified of Renaissance fairs.
wojr
Monday, October 02, 2006
Cynicism Comes Cheaper on Mondays!
"Say cheese!"
Someone is about to take your picture, so make sure you show your staged photo expression. You know that one, the smile lacking any authenticity or sincerity. One could call it your plastic visage. Others might even call it soulless.
I’m no better. I do it too. The soul free smile. The glassy eyes. The subtle urgent need for the whole experience to just end.
Of course, I have to be instructed or cajoled to do so. Normally by an over-excited family member, friend or other self-appointed chronicler.
And if you say no, then you're considered rude or anti-social.
Now, I am rude and anti-social, but I like to hide those traits. Especially from my family or people I'm trying to bang. (The two groups do not overlap.)
So, there we all are. Being photographed with expressions natural only to the under and over medicated, leaving evidence of our supposed happiness and joy for the archeologists of future or alien generations. Making these deluded folks think:
"Things must have been so much better then. Look how happy everyone is."
And the unstaged pictures? What do we call them?
Candid.
Not honest. Not sincere. Not life-like or realistic. Just candid. Calling them honest or sincere pictures openly admits our insincerity and dishonesty in the staged pictures.
That’s why I like photographs of drunken co-eds flashing the camera. You can call them crude or degrading, but photos of young boobies never lie.
Plus, today’s nudie pictures will be next century’s National Geographic feature, giving many a young pimply-faced adolescent their first beat-off material.
But hopefully, they will have cured acne by then.
wojr
"Say cheese!"
Someone is about to take your picture, so make sure you show your staged photo expression. You know that one, the smile lacking any authenticity or sincerity. One could call it your plastic visage. Others might even call it soulless.
I’m no better. I do it too. The soul free smile. The glassy eyes. The subtle urgent need for the whole experience to just end.
Of course, I have to be instructed or cajoled to do so. Normally by an over-excited family member, friend or other self-appointed chronicler.
And if you say no, then you're considered rude or anti-social.
Now, I am rude and anti-social, but I like to hide those traits. Especially from my family or people I'm trying to bang. (The two groups do not overlap.)
So, there we all are. Being photographed with expressions natural only to the under and over medicated, leaving evidence of our supposed happiness and joy for the archeologists of future or alien generations. Making these deluded folks think:
"Things must have been so much better then. Look how happy everyone is."
And the unstaged pictures? What do we call them?
Candid.
Not honest. Not sincere. Not life-like or realistic. Just candid. Calling them honest or sincere pictures openly admits our insincerity and dishonesty in the staged pictures.
That’s why I like photographs of drunken co-eds flashing the camera. You can call them crude or degrading, but photos of young boobies never lie.
Plus, today’s nudie pictures will be next century’s National Geographic feature, giving many a young pimply-faced adolescent their first beat-off material.
But hopefully, they will have cured acne by then.
wojr
Labels: Snide Remarks
