wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Friday, October 27, 2006
What Could Only Be Called Bronc on Bronc
From the wojr.com vaults:
[click on pic to enlarge]
God, I love throwing him under the bus.
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY (even the gay cowboys)!
wojr
From the wojr.com vaults:
[click on pic to enlarge]God, I love throwing him under the bus.
HAPPY 5PM FRIDAY EVERYBODY (even the gay cowboys)!
wojr
Labels: 5PMSendoff, Bronc, College, Nostalgia
I Hope the Poor Guy Counting the Condoms Is Getting Some (or Wow, Michelle Pfeiffer Was Hot in a Trashy Way in Grease 2)
Found on wcbstv.com:
To be perfectly honest, if I was threatened with nuclear annihilation, I would be inclined to go bareback. Then again, I haven’t been hitting up the “love motels”.
The whole thing reminds me of the scene from Grease 2 where one of the guys tries to use a bomb shelter and his girlfriend’s nuclear paranoia to get laid. “KABLAM! NUCLEOID WAR!” The damn scene even had a damn musical number.
Yeah, let's do it for our country, the red, white, and the blue,
If the President were standin' here, I'm sure he would approve.
I'll be a mighty soldier before this night is through.
Let's do it for our country, our country wants us to.
And by “do it”, they mean making the beast with two backs.
Now, some of you might be asking yourself “why is wojr referencing GREASE 2”?
Well,
wojr
Found on wcbstv.com:
Condom Sales Spike In S. KoreaThe South Korean condom industry owes a debt of gratitude to Kim Jong Ill. Who would have thunk?
(AP) SEOUL Condom sales and bookings at several of South Korea's pay-by-the-hour "love motels" surged in the aftermath of North Korea's nuclear test, according to statistics released Thursday.South Koreans are used to living in the shadow of war, and life has continued as normal across the country in the wake of the Oct. 9 explosion. But statistics on the number of condoms sold in recent weeks suggest that despite their apparently blasé reaction to the North's nuclear bluster, many South Koreans may be seeking solace in sex.
A leading chain of convenience stores reported Thursday that their condom sales rose to an average of 1,930 a day in the week after Oct. 9, compared to 1,508 a day for the year to Sept. 30.
Sales of the prophylactics dropped slightly to 1,772 in the week of Oct. 16-21, but remained well above previous norms.
Another national chain said it sold 3.54 million South Korean won (US$3,721) worth of condoms a day during the week after the test — a 14.8 percent rise over last month's sales figures, and a 12 percent rise over the year to Sept. 30.
The statistics were first reported by a prominent newspaper, Chosun Ilbo, which ran a full-color graphic of a condom-shrouded missile bearing the North Korean flag.
To be perfectly honest, if I was threatened with nuclear annihilation, I would be inclined to go bareback. Then again, I haven’t been hitting up the “love motels”.
The whole thing reminds me of the scene from Grease 2 where one of the guys tries to use a bomb shelter and his girlfriend’s nuclear paranoia to get laid. “KABLAM! NUCLEOID WAR!” The damn scene even had a damn musical number.
Yeah, let's do it for our country, the red, white, and the blue,
If the President were standin' here, I'm sure he would approve.
I'll be a mighty soldier before this night is through.
Let's do it for our country, our country wants us to.
And by “do it”, they mean making the beast with two backs.
Now, some of you might be asking yourself “why is wojr referencing GREASE 2”?
Well,
- I wanted to show that I’m secure enough in my manhood to reference Grease 2 and/or movie musicals.
- In terms of the Inaugural wojr.com Halloween Dead Pool, the stars of Grease 2, Michelle Pfeiffer and Maxwell Caulfield, are both just under fifty. They might make for some interesting Dead Pool picks. (Co-stars, Sid Caesar (84) and Adrian Zmed also make for VERY interesting picks.)
- Liz and Jean Sagal, the twins from the sitcom Double Trouble and known wojr crushes, happen to be in Grease 2. I will go any distance to reference either Double Trouble and/or Tales of the Gold Monkey.
- The Korean Condom Article really spoke for itself. Felt like I had to think of something of my own to contribute to this post.
wojr
Thursday, October 26, 2006
wojr’s Buying Habits Indicate That He Would Be Too Drunk to Vote
Found on cnn.com:
Actually, I wonder why the Schwarzenegger camp would even want this information released to the press. Most individuals, especially the ones in the “middle” that Arnold seems to be targeting, have grown a little wary about the state of privacy in America. Wire-tapping of phone calls, looking for their web browser information and now the need to see how they spend their money? Isn’t the Republican Party supposed to be against Big Government getting involved in our lives?
Do they really think if someone buys porn that they’ll vote for a porn star? Not that one is still running.
Found on avn.com:
wojr
Found on cnn.com:
California shoppers, Schwarzenegger is watching youIf only Arnold put such effort into, you know, actually being governor, he probably wouldn’t need this information. Not like he needs the information anyway, most polls show him having a clear majority of the votes.
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Gin or vodka? Ford or BMW? Perrier or Fiji water? Does the car you buy or what's in your fridge say anything about how you'll vote?
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign thinks so.
Employing technology honed in President Bush's 2004 victory, the Republican governor's re-election team has created a vast computer storehouse of data on personal buying habits and voter records to identify likely supporters. Campaign officials say the operation is the largest of its kind in any state, at any time.
Some strategists believe consumer information can reveal a voter's politics even better than a party label can.
"It's not where they live, it's how they live," said Josh Ginsberg, the Schwarzenegger campaign's deputy political director.
The idea is an outgrowth of techniques that businesses have long used to find new customers. Using publicly available data, the Bush campaign in 2004 knew voters' favorite vacation spots, religious leanings, the music and magazines they liked, the cars they drove.
Actually, I wonder why the Schwarzenegger camp would even want this information released to the press. Most individuals, especially the ones in the “middle” that Arnold seems to be targeting, have grown a little wary about the state of privacy in America. Wire-tapping of phone calls, looking for their web browser information and now the need to see how they spend their money? Isn’t the Republican Party supposed to be against Big Government getting involved in our lives?
Do they really think if someone buys porn that they’ll vote for a porn star? Not that one is still running.
Found on avn.com:
Carey Quits Campaign to be with FamilyGod, I miss New Jersey. I really do.
Adult starlet and gubernatorial candidate, Mary Carey, has been forced to stop campaigning due to a family tragedy. After a recent campaign appearance at San Diego State University, Carey had to cancel the remainder of her “Shock the Vote” tour across college campuses of California.
Carey’s mother, Jaqueline Cook, is currently in critical condition after a recent accident in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla. After a strenuous month of flying back and forth to Florida to see her mom, Carey said that she has decided to stop campaigning to be by her mother’s side in Florida for an upcoming surgery.
“As much as I want to help the state of California be a better place I think it is more important to be with my mom and help her,” said Carey, a contract performer for Legend Video. "I am only 26 and have many more years to be involved in politics, but right now I must be in Florida with my mom."
wojr
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Journey into Morbidity: The Dead Pool – The Third Man
In terms of the recommendation of Bob Barker to the Inaugural wojr.com Halloween Dead Pool, one loyal reader chose to comment "Bob...isn't that sort of a given?" This coming from a girl who wants to pick Castro.
Yes, Bob Barker was a rather obvious choice, but I wanted to call him a "poon-hound" and now I can die a happy man.
So, not just to quell the complaints of the blonde female readers of this site but also to make an obvious bid to appear a witty and independent thinker, the third recommendation from wojr.com for the Dead Pool will be an attempt to select someone completely out of left field.
Thus the third recommendation in the DEAD POOL is:
Gheorghe Zamfir a.k.a. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute
Now, some might say, "Why Zamfir? Is he too a hound of the poon?" Personally, I don't know, but he's currently living in his native Romania. I've heard enough tales about Romanian women to be concerned for Zamfir's health.
Others might say, "He's only sixty-five. Why waste one of the five special elderly slots on him?" To those, I counter with the fact that the average life expectancy for a male in Romania is only 68.14 years.
And others still might ask, "What's the deal with the cat? Is he a James Bond villain? Is he Liberace gay?" Again, I can't say. But if either or both are true, it does abbreviate an already abbreviated life expectancy.
Plus the man can play a sustained tone lasting about 2 1/2 minutes. Can you say aneurysm? I can.
wojr
DEAD POOL SUMMARY
Number of entries submitted as of 4:06PM, 10/25/06: twenty-two.
wojr’s Selections:
1.Bindi Irwin Dakota Fanning
2. Bob Barker
3. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
In terms of the recommendation of Bob Barker to the Inaugural wojr.com Halloween Dead Pool, one loyal reader chose to comment "Bob...isn't that sort of a given?" This coming from a girl who wants to pick Castro.
Yes, Bob Barker was a rather obvious choice, but I wanted to call him a "poon-hound" and now I can die a happy man.
So, not just to quell the complaints of the blonde female readers of this site but also to make an obvious bid to appear a witty and independent thinker, the third recommendation from wojr.com for the Dead Pool will be an attempt to select someone completely out of left field.Thus the third recommendation in the DEAD POOL is:
Gheorghe Zamfir a.k.a. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute
Now, some might say, "Why Zamfir? Is he too a hound of the poon?" Personally, I don't know, but he's currently living in his native Romania. I've heard enough tales about Romanian women to be concerned for Zamfir's health.
Others might say, "He's only sixty-five. Why waste one of the five special elderly slots on him?" To those, I counter with the fact that the average life expectancy for a male in Romania is only 68.14 years.
And others still might ask, "What's the deal with the cat? Is he a James Bond villain? Is he Liberace gay?" Again, I can't say. But if either or both are true, it does abbreviate an already abbreviated life expectancy.
Plus the man can play a sustained tone lasting about 2 1/2 minutes. Can you say aneurysm? I can.
wojr
DEAD POOL SUMMARY
Number of entries submitted as of 4:06PM, 10/25/06: twenty-two.
wojr’s Selections:
1.
2. Bob Barker
3. Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Why Is Wojr Happy Today?
Because, thanks to threadless.com, I am now the proud of owner of this t-shirt:
Hey, for a Tuesday, every little bit helps.
wojr
Because, thanks to threadless.com, I am now the proud of owner of this t-shirt:
Hey, for a Tuesday, every little bit helps.wojr
Monday, October 23, 2006
Journey into Morbidity: The Dead Pool – Candidate Deux
In any given Dead Pool, one must always make age an extremely critical variable. It’s just a fact a life. Even with the increased number of pedophile murder-rapists in our society, the older you get, then the closer you are to death.
Thus, when picking candidates for the Inaugural wojr.com Halloween Dead Pool, it is always wise to skew towards the geriatric. Unfortunately, wojr, in his never-quenching need to keep things interesting, has limited one’s options in relation to the elderly and decrepit. In a transparent attempt to piss off his elders, the bar has been set at FIFTY years of age. So remember, only fifty percent of one’s Dead Pool selections can be above 50.
Taking this constraint into account, one must choose their elderly wisely.
Because some of those bastards are just going to live FOREVER.
Here at the wojr.com headquarters, we tend to favor the silver-haired celebrities that still like to get their swerve on with great frequency – especially the ones that like the youthful sex partners. You know, sexual carnivores like Hugh Hefner, Jack Nicholson or Stephen Hawking (You can include Phyllis Diller if you need to avoid being gender-biased.)
But is chasing nookie enough to kill the average octogenarian? Wouldn’t you like a little insurance?
The whip-smart team of analysts here at wojr.com has noticed a statistical anomaly in the Dead Pool candidates. A shit load of game show hosts are in the mix. Chuck Barris, Monty Hall, Chuck Woolery and Wink Martindale are all rapidly being chased by the Reaper. All it will take is one to fall and we predict an epidemic on our ends, a veritable Game Show Host Tsunami of Death.
So, if one compares the two groups, game show shots and geriatric poon-hounds, a single name rises above the rest. That man is our second recommendation in the DEAD POOL:
Robert William Barker a.k.a. “Bob”
Not only is there his advanced age of 82, a constant parade of available harlots for him to seduce and the strain of moving that big-ass Price is Right wheel back to the correct starting position, one also needs to take into account the greatest threat to Bob Barker’s survival:
A mammoth army of pissed-off, neutered house pets.
Barker “is known for ending every episode of The Price Is Right since the early 80's by saying, ‘Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.’ This practice was also done by now-deceased game show hosts Jack Barry and Bert Convy.”
Through his celebrity, Bob Barker is responsible for more castrations than all the Nazi bull-dykes in the northern hemisphere. (Don’t stop to think about that one, just go with it.) He has numerous enemies in both the canine & feline communities and despite what you see in every cgi-animated film not made by Pixar, these animals are not cute and cuddly. They are vicious creatures with a real blood-lust and they can carry a grudge. To them, Bob Barker is a marked man and his time is long past due. How do you think Jack Barry and Bert Convy died? Domestic animal attack.
Plus, that Price is Right wheel just looks really, really heavy.
wojr
DEAD POOL SUMMARY
Number of entries submitted as of 11:49PM, 10/23/06: thirteen.
wojr’s Selections:
1.Bindi Irwin Dakota Fanning
2. Bob Barker
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
In any given Dead Pool, one must always make age an extremely critical variable. It’s just a fact a life. Even with the increased number of pedophile murder-rapists in our society, the older you get, then the closer you are to death.
Thus, when picking candidates for the Inaugural wojr.com Halloween Dead Pool, it is always wise to skew towards the geriatric. Unfortunately, wojr, in his never-quenching need to keep things interesting, has limited one’s options in relation to the elderly and decrepit. In a transparent attempt to piss off his elders, the bar has been set at FIFTY years of age. So remember, only fifty percent of one’s Dead Pool selections can be above 50.
Taking this constraint into account, one must choose their elderly wisely.
Because some of those bastards are just going to live FOREVER.
Here at the wojr.com headquarters, we tend to favor the silver-haired celebrities that still like to get their swerve on with great frequency – especially the ones that like the youthful sex partners. You know, sexual carnivores like Hugh Hefner, Jack Nicholson or Stephen Hawking (You can include Phyllis Diller if you need to avoid being gender-biased.)
But is chasing nookie enough to kill the average octogenarian? Wouldn’t you like a little insurance?
The whip-smart team of analysts here at wojr.com has noticed a statistical anomaly in the Dead Pool candidates. A shit load of game show hosts are in the mix. Chuck Barris, Monty Hall, Chuck Woolery and Wink Martindale are all rapidly being chased by the Reaper. All it will take is one to fall and we predict an epidemic on our ends, a veritable Game Show Host Tsunami of Death.
So, if one compares the two groups, game show shots and geriatric poon-hounds, a single name rises above the rest. That man is our second recommendation in the DEAD POOL:
Robert William Barker a.k.a. “Bob”
Not only is there his advanced age of 82, a constant parade of available harlots for him to seduce and the strain of moving that big-ass Price is Right wheel back to the correct starting position, one also needs to take into account the greatest threat to Bob Barker’s survival:
A mammoth army of pissed-off, neutered house pets.
Barker “is known for ending every episode of The Price Is Right since the early 80's by saying, ‘Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered.’ This practice was also done by now-deceased game show hosts Jack Barry and Bert Convy.”
Through his celebrity, Bob Barker is responsible for more castrations than all the Nazi bull-dykes in the northern hemisphere. (Don’t stop to think about that one, just go with it.) He has numerous enemies in both the canine & feline communities and despite what you see in every cgi-animated film not made by Pixar, these animals are not cute and cuddly. They are vicious creatures with a real blood-lust and they can carry a grudge. To them, Bob Barker is a marked man and his time is long past due. How do you think Jack Barry and Bert Convy died? Domestic animal attack.
Plus, that Price is Right wheel just looks really, really heavy.
wojr
DEAD POOL SUMMARY
Number of entries submitted as of 11:49PM, 10/23/06: thirteen.
wojr’s Selections:
1.
2. Bob Barker
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Labels: DeadPool
