wojr - words, occasionally sentences
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Utah Confirms It Has No Respect for Black People, Their History or Their Porn
February is Black History Month. It’s bad enough that February is the shortest month on the calendar, but now our Nubian brothers and sisters have to share the month with some cracker polygamist movement against pornography.
Found on byu.edu (SFW) (via fleshbot.com (NSFW)):
Black rage! BLACK RAGE!
Ahem.. Sorry, got lost in the moment.
As for the non-racial comments, I would normally start things off by mocking Ms. Moreno for using such an ostentatious word like “yucky”, but I have witnessed some pornographic images that have left a yucky taste in my mouth. (To quote Clerks II, “you never go ass to mouth”.) So, I’ll let that one pass. Also, in terms of pornographic images being left in your brain forever, while I do have issues with the use of the word “forever”, I will admit that I can vividly recall some of the first erotic cinema I witnessed in my life. Hell, those images are the occasional fist fodder for my masturbatory exploits. So, I’ll let that one pass as well.
However, what I will not let slip by me is the insinuation that most of the males and females of junior-high-school age and above that have been exposed to X-rated, hard-core pornography did so while doing homework. Ms. Moreno, that is a load of BULLSHIT. While the Internet is prevalent with porn (as it should be), I doubt Little Junior High Johnny stumbled upon Latin Double Dong Fiesta dot com while researching the Spanish Inquisition. He’s at that site because he wants to know why Daddy needs three wives.
And come on, “Communities for Decency”, really? Now, if I had a child in an elementary school and a couple of high school kids came to them, claimed to be from some Nazi-sounding group like “Communities for Decency”, and told them it is ok to speak out when they see something inappropriate like, for an example, an interracial gangbang, I would have a big problem with that*.
Because I’m done with the racial harmony in its pornographic and non-pornographic forms.
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!
wojr
*Of course, if I was living in Utah, I would have bigger problems than my kids fending off neo-Nazis.
February is Black History Month. It’s bad enough that February is the shortest month on the calendar, but now our Nubian brothers and sisters have to share the month with some cracker polygamist movement against pornography.
Found on byu.edu (SFW) (via fleshbot.com (NSFW)):
Community Leaders Declare February 'White Ribbon Against Pornography' MonthWhy’s it got to be the WHITE Ribbon Against Porn month? Why you got to flaunt your disrespect for the brother man so blatantly in front of his face. (To quote Chasing Amy, “Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy 'safe' for white folks and polygamists”.) It is just blatant racism and, as a liberal white democrat, I will not stand for it. No, not one bit.
Pornography has been compared to a variety of drugs because of its addictive properties.
The difference between the two, however, is illustrated when a user ends his or her addictive behavior. Once you leave a drug like cocaine, you can get the drug out of your system; pornographic images, however, are left in your brain forever, explained Cindy Moreno, the president of Communities for Decency.
Governor Jon Huntsman and mayors of many Utah cities have declared the month of February to be White Ribbon Against Pornography month in Utah.
“Communities for Decency” is a statewide, non-profit organization that promotes standards of decency in communities and teaches children good values. The organization also strives to empower parents with the tools they need to talk to their children about the destructive effects of pornography.
“People don’t realize what is out there,” Moreno said. “We aim to teach children and parents alike about the dangers of pornography.”
Parents are not aware of how easily accessible pornography is, Moreno said. Children can get it on their cell phones, computers or while they are doing their homework on the Internet.
In a study of 600 American males and females of junior-high-school age and above, 91 percent of the males and 82 percent of the females admitted having been exposed to X-rated, hard-core pornography, mostly occurring while doing homework, Moreno said.
Communities for Decency has funded school assemblies where high school students go to elementary schools and teach children that it is alright to speak out when they see something inappropriate.
“Many children will see inappropriate images and feel yucky about it, but they won’t tell anyone about it,” Moreno said.
Black rage! BLACK RAGE!
Ahem.. Sorry, got lost in the moment.
As for the non-racial comments, I would normally start things off by mocking Ms. Moreno for using such an ostentatious word like “yucky”, but I have witnessed some pornographic images that have left a yucky taste in my mouth. (To quote Clerks II, “you never go ass to mouth”.) So, I’ll let that one pass. Also, in terms of pornographic images being left in your brain forever, while I do have issues with the use of the word “forever”, I will admit that I can vividly recall some of the first erotic cinema I witnessed in my life. Hell, those images are the occasional fist fodder for my masturbatory exploits. So, I’ll let that one pass as well.
However, what I will not let slip by me is the insinuation that most of the males and females of junior-high-school age and above that have been exposed to X-rated, hard-core pornography did so while doing homework. Ms. Moreno, that is a load of BULLSHIT. While the Internet is prevalent with porn (as it should be), I doubt Little Junior High Johnny stumbled upon Latin Double Dong Fiesta dot com while researching the Spanish Inquisition. He’s at that site because he wants to know why Daddy needs three wives.
And come on, “Communities for Decency”, really? Now, if I had a child in an elementary school and a couple of high school kids came to them, claimed to be from some Nazi-sounding group like “Communities for Decency”, and told them it is ok to speak out when they see something inappropriate like, for an example, an interracial gangbang, I would have a big problem with that*.
Because I’m done with the racial harmony in its pornographic and non-pornographic forms.
HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH!
wojr
*Of course, if I was living in Utah, I would have bigger problems than my kids fending off neo-Nazis.
Labels: Crackers, News, Porn, Religion, Snide Remarks
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
I Never Knew that Jesus was Slippery When Wet
Found on metro.co.uk (via the online home of the Internet Jesus):
I do have a little remorse in finding this so funny. (WHAT? I’m not completely heartless!)
Here’s a man, a simple farmer from Columbia. He most likely received very little, if any, formal education and probably had a hard enough time surviving his world without the burden of epilepsy.
But come on, Alipio. You already climbed that statue once! It didn’t work. So, instead you decide to try again when Jesus was all lubed up? You pester the big guy for a second time with the same whiny problem and, of course, he’ll smack your ass down. Did you even bother wiping the bird-shit off his brow, Alipio? I bet you didn’t. No, it’s all about little Alipio. Well, man, I think if you can climb a 45 foot statue without having an epileptic seizure then you aren’t that bad off.
Ok, maybe I am heartless, but this guy is an idiot.
Too bad he wasn’t a priest though. Since the act Alipio performed was technically prayer, he could have definitely filed a worker’s comp claim.
Of course, I am assuming that Columbia has Worker’s Comp Insurance.
And you know what happens when you assume? That’s right, Jesus strikes down an epileptic.
wojr
Found on metro.co.uk (via the online home of the Internet Jesus):
A man who climbed a 45-foot tall statue of Jesus to pray for a miracle cure saw his plan backfire slightly, when he fell off, breaking several bones.In case you were wondering – yes, there is video of Jesus standing idly by as a devout devotee falls the 45 feet.
Farmer Alipio Acosta climbed up the statue of Jesus in Ocaca, Columbia in front of a crowd of onlookers – and TV cameras – in an attempt to be cured of his epilepsy. Once at the top of the statue, he prayed for a few moments, then started to climb back down.
Unfortunately, he hadn't planned his descent route terribly well. To add to the problems, it had been raining, which made Jesus quite slippery.
As he tried to negotiate his way around Jesus' outstretched arm, Acosta dangled for a moment, before losing his grip, falling, bouncing off the plinth and then falling some more.
On the plus side, he survived. Which is a miracle of sorts.
He was taken to hospital, where he was diagnosed with multiple fractures to his wrist, hip and skull.
This is not the first time Acosta has climbed up the Cristo Ray statue – he did the same thing two years ago. On that occasion, he wasn't cured of his epilepsy, but he didn't fall 45 feet either, making the venture a sort of 0 – 0 win.
I do have a little remorse in finding this so funny. (WHAT? I’m not completely heartless!)
Here’s a man, a simple farmer from Columbia. He most likely received very little, if any, formal education and probably had a hard enough time surviving his world without the burden of epilepsy.
But come on, Alipio. You already climbed that statue once! It didn’t work. So, instead you decide to try again when Jesus was all lubed up? You pester the big guy for a second time with the same whiny problem and, of course, he’ll smack your ass down. Did you even bother wiping the bird-shit off his brow, Alipio? I bet you didn’t. No, it’s all about little Alipio. Well, man, I think if you can climb a 45 foot statue without having an epileptic seizure then you aren’t that bad off.
Ok, maybe I am heartless, but this guy is an idiot.
Too bad he wasn’t a priest though. Since the act Alipio performed was technically prayer, he could have definitely filed a worker’s comp claim.
Of course, I am assuming that Columbia has Worker’s Comp Insurance.
And you know what happens when you assume? That’s right, Jesus strikes down an epileptic.
wojr
Monday, October 16, 2006
wojr and The Bush Administration Find Some Common Ground
Found on aol.com:
That aol article seems to show only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the content of Kuo’s book, Tempting Faith.
Here’s a more detailed report from Keith Olbermann:
I’m sure you’ll be hearing accusations that this, like the Foley scandal, is the carefully orchestrated plan of the Democrats to smear the good name of Republicans right before the upcoming election. Which is just crazy talk. The Democratic Party doing anything “carefully orchestrated” would be the harbinger of the Second Coming or the Rapture or whatever event the Evangelicals are expecting.
David Kuo is not a proponent of the Democrats. He, from my limited knowledge, left the White House because he felt the Administration was not doing enough to champion the Catholic agenda. Kuo was upset that Bush was short-changing them just like he was short-changing black people. (I know that’s not true, the Catholic leaders at least got some White House souvenirs.) I doubt Kuo believes the Democrats would treat the Evangelicals any better. And the Evangelicals, I’m sure, know that as well. So, I think most of their votes will still go to the Republicans.
Hell, the fact that Bush has been protecting us from the Evangelicals just might win the Republicans some votes from the middle as well. The Bush administration has been protecting us from the crazy, ridiculous Catholics( opposed to the sane, lovely Catholics that I hold close to heart). As crazy as it sounds, we could be in a worse state than we are in now.
Man, just be happy evolution is being taught anywhere in the United States.
wojr
Found on aol.com:
Ex-Aide Says Evangelicals Mocked in White HouseWhile we here at wojr.com have never called the National Christian leaders ‘goofy’ out of reverence to all things Disney, we have consistently thought of the leadership as ‘ridiculous’ and ‘out of control’. Who knew the Bush Administration felt the same way? Right? Makes you just want to run to Washington and give G-Dub a big ol’ hug.
For the White House, the charges coming their way this morning in the new book "Tempting Faith: An Inside Story of Political Seduction" must seem anything but heaven-sent.
The accusations are coming from an unlikely source: David Kuo, former deputy director of the White House Office of Faith-Based Initiatives, which channels federal dollars to religious charities.
Kuo says the office was misused to rally evangelical Christians, the Republican base voters, to get GOP politicians elected. Not only that, Kuo claims Bush officials mocked evangelical leaders behind their backs, alleging that in the office of political guru Karl Rove they were called "the nuts."
"National Christian leaders received hugs and smiles in person and then were dismissed behind their backs and described as 'ridiculous', 'out of control,' and just plain 'goofy,' " Kuo writes.
"You name the important Christian leader, and I have heard them mocked by serious people in serious places," Kuo told "60 Minutes" Sunday night.
That mockery, he added, included the Rev. Pat Robertson being called "insane," the Rev. Jerry Falwell being called "ridiculous" and comments that Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family "had to be controlled."
That aol article seems to show only the tip of the iceberg in terms of the content of Kuo’s book, Tempting Faith.
Here’s a more detailed report from Keith Olbermann:
I’m sure you’ll be hearing accusations that this, like the Foley scandal, is the carefully orchestrated plan of the Democrats to smear the good name of Republicans right before the upcoming election. Which is just crazy talk. The Democratic Party doing anything “carefully orchestrated” would be the harbinger of the Second Coming or the Rapture or whatever event the Evangelicals are expecting.
David Kuo is not a proponent of the Democrats. He, from my limited knowledge, left the White House because he felt the Administration was not doing enough to champion the Catholic agenda. Kuo was upset that Bush was short-changing them just like he was short-changing black people. (I know that’s not true, the Catholic leaders at least got some White House souvenirs.) I doubt Kuo believes the Democrats would treat the Evangelicals any better. And the Evangelicals, I’m sure, know that as well. So, I think most of their votes will still go to the Republicans.
Hell, the fact that Bush has been protecting us from the Evangelicals just might win the Republicans some votes from the middle as well. The Bush administration has been protecting us from the crazy, ridiculous Catholics( opposed to the sane, lovely Catholics that I hold close to heart). As crazy as it sounds, we could be in a worse state than we are in now.
Man, just be happy evolution is being taught anywhere in the United States.
wojr
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Bronc Will Not Scare Me Into Editing This Post
Found on angolapress.com (via attu):
Except for the whole Nairobi part.
Eighteen months does sound very severe but the Indecent Exposure and Public Lewdness Statutes for some states are much worse. And by states I mean the ones in the United States.
Of America.
The maximum sentence for such an offense in Maryland, South Carolina and Louisiana is THREE YEARS. Hell, I’ve been drunk and exposed in Louisiana.
I wanted some beads.
Now, those three year sentences coupled with monetary fines represent the maximum, but I can not imagine those same states would look too fondly on the concepts of a religious structure and the act of fornication. I bet the mere notion of a blowjob in a sacristy would result in a lynching or, better yet, a shotgun wedding in those states.
So, I think Jennifer and Peter got off pretty light. But I wonder...
I wonder if they’ll be able to share a cell.
I wonder if that was their first date.
I wonder if Jennifer and Peter are common African names.
I wonder if Peter at least got to "finish".
I wonder who I was referring to when I used “a blowjob in a sacristy” as a hypothetical.
wojr
Found on angolapress.com (via attu):
Nairobi, 10/10 - A Kenyan court Monday sentenced a couple to 18 months in prison each for having sexual relations inside a Mosque at Gilgil, about 100-km northwest of Nairobi.There but for the grace of Allah go I. Given my history of alcohol consumption and drunken sluttiness, that could easily have been me.
Naivasha Senior Magistrate John Kingori called the act by Peter Kimani and Jennifer Wairimu, "abominable" to religion and dismissed their plea for leniency.
The couple, caught in the act 3 October, claimed they were under the influence of alcohol.
Kimani said he thought he was inside a hotel room while Wanjiru claimed she was too drunk to remember what happened.
Except for the whole Nairobi part.
Eighteen months does sound very severe but the Indecent Exposure and Public Lewdness Statutes for some states are much worse. And by states I mean the ones in the United States.
Of America.
The maximum sentence for such an offense in Maryland, South Carolina and Louisiana is THREE YEARS. Hell, I’ve been drunk and exposed in Louisiana.
I wanted some beads.
Now, those three year sentences coupled with monetary fines represent the maximum, but I can not imagine those same states would look too fondly on the concepts of a religious structure and the act of fornication. I bet the mere notion of a blowjob in a sacristy would result in a lynching or, better yet, a shotgun wedding in those states.
So, I think Jennifer and Peter got off pretty light. But I wonder...
I wonder if they’ll be able to share a cell.
I wonder if that was their first date.
I wonder if Jennifer and Peter are common African names.
I wonder if Peter at least got to "finish".
I wonder who I was referring to when I used “a blowjob in a sacristy” as a hypothetical.
wojr
Labels: Bronc, Intoxication, News, Religion, Sex
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Which Hole Does This One Go In?
Following last week’s butt plug modeled after George Dubya, we know have a product that is less disturbing but should inspire greater disdain.
The Dashboard Mohammed!
This comes mere days after I read the following article on news.yahoo.com (via silentbobspeaks.com):
"I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ..."
The Shiite’s don’t like a kindler, gentler Christ – One that just pops? One that just cries out to be on your dashboard?
Something tells me they’ll just hate the Dashboard Mohammed.
Coming to a jihad near you!
wojr
Following last week’s butt plug modeled after George Dubya, we know have a product that is less disturbing but should inspire greater disdain.
The Dashboard Mohammed!
It's pretty simple, really. The Dashboard Mohammed is nothing more than an attempt at a clever play on the Dashboard Jesus. It's a bobble head that can be placed on the dashboard of your car, your monitor at work, in your shower, anywhere you need spiritual uplifting and guidance.Allah help us if someone’s pooper needs uplifting. That flower/lit fuse does not look too pleasing.
This comes mere days after I read the following article on news.yahoo.com (via silentbobspeaks.com):
BAGHDAD (AFP) - Iraqi Shiite residents of Baghdad's Sadr City have expressed anger on over [sic] a picture of a grinning Jesus they mistook for a Shiite holy figure that appeared in the area after a joint US-Iraqi operation.God, I loved Kevin Smith’s script for Dogma.
Residents found a picture of "Buddy Jesus" from the 1999 film "Dogma" posted in the streets, accompanied by a badly photocopied pamphlet bearing a crude approximation of a US military crest and outlining a US "plan" to subjugate the neighborhood.
"That picture abuses our Imam Mahdi and his holy character, and mocks our sacred figures," said resident Abu Riyam Sunday, apparently mistaking the satirical movie still of Jesus for one of Shiite Islam's historical imams, whose images adopt a Jesus-like iconography.
"I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ..."
The Shiite’s don’t like a kindler, gentler Christ – One that just pops? One that just cries out to be on your dashboard?
Something tells me they’ll just hate the Dashboard Mohammed.
Coming to a jihad near you!
wojr
Labels: Hollywood, News, Religion, Snide Remarks
Friday, September 08, 2006
Scientology Conspiracy Theory #24420 or How Xenu & the Galactic Confederacy Can Save Suri’s Soul, Just Not Travolta’s
wojr.com would like to offer this brief recap on This Week in Scary Scientology:
We started off the week with Brooke Shield’s disclosure that Tom Cruise had apologized to her for saying she violated his religion’s doctrine on medication and postpartum depression. (Which in Cruise’s defense, she did violate.) Brooke, however, still owes me an apology for Suddenly Susan.
Then Katie Couric debuted her sweet ass on CBS with the unveiling of Vanity Fair’s pictures of the second coming, Suri. (I used to have such the hankering for Katie Holmes. Now, she's lost to me. It's almost like when a porn star finds God and quits the biz.)
So, it’s pretty obvious that Cruise is trying to trying to clean up his public image. You know, the one where he’s bat-shit crazy.
However, this week also saw the National Enquirer reveal this image of John Travolta kissing a dude:
Not that there's anything wrong with that. (I'm just saying that to kowtow to my gay and lesbian audience. There is something very wrong with that photo.)
And then USA today released this image of Travolta reprising Divine's role of Edna Turnblad in the upcoming film, Hairspray:
I wouldn't hit that with Vitti's dick.
Jenna Elfman and Jason Lee, strangely enough, were not in the news at all this week. However, I will slip a quote from a Jason Lee role at the end of the piece and Jenna Elfman still owes me an apology for Dharma & Greg.
So, here’s my conspiracy theory:
I think the Church of Scary Scientology is offering up John Travolta to the mass media as a sacrificial lamb in order to save Tom Cruise.
I can understand their thinking. Travolta is the king of the cinematic comeback. He can weather the storm, play around with his planes and wait for the next Tarantino to cast him in something hip.
Tom Cruise can't handle a comeback. The boy can't handle a blemish. He might self implode and then sue himself to re-assert his heterosexuality.
Overall, I'm not impressed with these actions. I expected more from my L. Ron peeps. I think their battle against Xenu is distracting them from their Public Relations duties.
Now, if Cruise apologized to that "erotic wrestler" he sued, then we’re talking about something.
Anything else is just "bullshit posturing". (Thank you, Banky Edwards!)
And by the way, wojr.com does not owe any apologies.
wojr
wojr.com would like to offer this brief recap on This Week in Scary Scientology:
We started off the week with Brooke Shield’s disclosure that Tom Cruise had apologized to her for saying she violated his religion’s doctrine on medication and postpartum depression. (Which in Cruise’s defense, she did violate.) Brooke, however, still owes me an apology for Suddenly Susan.
Then Katie Couric debuted her sweet ass on CBS with the unveiling of Vanity Fair’s pictures of the second coming, Suri. (I used to have such the hankering for Katie Holmes. Now, she's lost to me. It's almost like when a porn star finds God and quits the biz.)
So, it’s pretty obvious that Cruise is trying to trying to clean up his public image. You know, the one where he’s bat-shit crazy.
However, this week also saw the National Enquirer reveal this image of John Travolta kissing a dude:
Not that there's anything wrong with that. (I'm just saying that to kowtow to my gay and lesbian audience. There is something very wrong with that photo.)And then USA today released this image of Travolta reprising Divine's role of Edna Turnblad in the upcoming film, Hairspray:
I wouldn't hit that with Vitti's dick.Jenna Elfman and Jason Lee, strangely enough, were not in the news at all this week. However, I will slip a quote from a Jason Lee role at the end of the piece and Jenna Elfman still owes me an apology for Dharma & Greg.
So, here’s my conspiracy theory:
I think the Church of Scary Scientology is offering up John Travolta to the mass media as a sacrificial lamb in order to save Tom Cruise.
I can understand their thinking. Travolta is the king of the cinematic comeback. He can weather the storm, play around with his planes and wait for the next Tarantino to cast him in something hip.
Tom Cruise can't handle a comeback. The boy can't handle a blemish. He might self implode and then sue himself to re-assert his heterosexuality.
Overall, I'm not impressed with these actions. I expected more from my L. Ron peeps. I think their battle against Xenu is distracting them from their Public Relations duties.
Now, if Cruise apologized to that "erotic wrestler" he sued, then we’re talking about something.
Anything else is just "bullshit posturing". (Thank you, Banky Edwards!)
And by the way, wojr.com does not owe any apologies.
wojr
Labels: Hollywood, News, Religion, Snide Remarks
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
We Could Call It The Church of the Everlasting Fleshpopsicle*
So, Friday’s post got me thinking over the weekend and I believe that I may stumbled on to a way to solve the whole ‘Same Sex Marriage’ issue. Or at the very least, a new legal strategy in favor of it.
Start new churches.
Make them exactly like the current religions du jour - be it Catholicism, Judaism, Baptism, etc – just make allowances for gay marriages. (Just avoid Voodooism and Satanism, the homosexuals get enough bad press as it is.)
Keep all the other more popular moral decrees, but make same sex marriage part of the religion. Better yet, make it a sacrament.
Thus, when told that marriage is wrong by your government official, cry religious persecution and point to the first amendment.
I realize that there must be a flaw in my thinking – especially given the illegality of polygamy. However, I would want to see the argument be made nonetheless. By Constitutional scholars rather than deluded bloggers like myself.
Marriage, first and foremost, is a social institution. That’s what came first, the institution not the sacrament. The two can exist separately from one another, just like how Church and State are supposed to exist.
Plus, with all these new religions popping, we can get some additional religious holidays added to the calendar. For the example, the Church of Madden** could get the Monday after the Super Bowl declared a holiday.
And if you have the football fans behind the cause of same sex unions, what other bridges are there to cross?
(I promise to make the next post less preachy and a little more comical.)
wojr
* Please note that the Church of the Everlasting Fleshpopsicle is no way affiliated with the Church of the Everlasting Gobstopper, the Church of the Perpetual Wojr or the Church of Magnanimous Luminescence and Gentrification.
** Yes, the Church of Madden would worship either a statue of Brett Favre or a Turkey Leg.
So, Friday’s post got me thinking over the weekend and I believe that I may stumbled on to a way to solve the whole ‘Same Sex Marriage’ issue. Or at the very least, a new legal strategy in favor of it.
Start new churches.
Make them exactly like the current religions du jour - be it Catholicism, Judaism, Baptism, etc – just make allowances for gay marriages. (Just avoid Voodooism and Satanism, the homosexuals get enough bad press as it is.)
Keep all the other more popular moral decrees, but make same sex marriage part of the religion. Better yet, make it a sacrament.
Thus, when told that marriage is wrong by your government official, cry religious persecution and point to the first amendment.
I realize that there must be a flaw in my thinking – especially given the illegality of polygamy. However, I would want to see the argument be made nonetheless. By Constitutional scholars rather than deluded bloggers like myself.
Marriage, first and foremost, is a social institution. That’s what came first, the institution not the sacrament. The two can exist separately from one another, just like how Church and State are supposed to exist.
Plus, with all these new religions popping, we can get some additional religious holidays added to the calendar. For the example, the Church of Madden** could get the Monday after the Super Bowl declared a holiday.
And if you have the football fans behind the cause of same sex unions, what other bridges are there to cross?
(I promise to make the next post less preachy and a little more comical.)
wojr
* Please note that the Church of the Everlasting Fleshpopsicle is no way affiliated with the Church of the Everlasting Gobstopper, the Church of the Perpetual Wojr or the Church of Magnanimous Luminescence and Gentrification.
** Yes, the Church of Madden would worship either a statue of Brett Favre or a Turkey Leg.
Labels: Religion, Snide Remarks
Friday, August 25, 2006
It Should Be No Surprise that They Do Not Offer Inherit the Wind on DVD
Found on warrenellis.com:
Damn, I think this is worthy subject to be the 300th post on this blog.
Plus, you all can get some free stuff to boot.
Personally, I think I want the Narnia DVD as well as Phil "Philly-Blunt" Johnson's Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds. I mean, look at this book - it is an EASY TO UNDERSTAND guide to disprove evolution.
Thank GOD that it isn't complicated or filled with actual, you know, SCIENCE.
(BTW, I promise to try to reach 600 posts a lot quicker than 300.)
wojr
Found on warrenellis.com:
HOW TO Screw Some Evangelist Maggots Right In The Wallet
Focus on the Family, the horrid anti-gay evangelical church based in Colorado Springs that wields too much power for anyone's good, has a store on their website that will give you books, CDs, and DVDs absolutely free of charge. Usually people pay for their items by donation, raising millions of dollars to help Focus on the Family produce more hate-propaganda featuring "experts" on homosexuality who claim it's a curable "sickness". (They're practically defined by their book A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality. Course, there's no mention of having less kids, which is the only proven method. No, no, you shouldn't use birth control, that would be wrong. They need more worshippers, how dare you prevent god's will.)
It's a little bit time-consuming, but not enough to deter me. (Nor should it you). The chance to take money out of their pockets is too useful, not to mention satisfying.
Here's how to do it in 10 steps:
1. Go to www.family.org and look for the "Resources" link in the blue bar on the left-hand side, right above the "Search" box, and click it.
2. Under the "Resource Category" menu on the left-hand side, you'll notice categories such as "Homosexuality" under "Resource Category." Me, I went straight to the CD's and DVD's under "Resource Format."
3. Go through, find something you like, such as the recently released movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe or The Chronicles of Narnia Radio Theatre Complete Set, suggested donation US $79.00, or the three disc Les Misérables soundtrack. It's not a very wide range of products, but there's bound to be something either you like or you could use as a sweet gift for someone else. Click the "Add to Cart" button.
They won't send more than $100 worth of materials for free in any given shopping trip, so be sure to go through a few times, until you're sure you've dinged them.
4. Select "Add New Shipping Address," decide to send it yourself or someone else, and once you're done picking up to $100, click "Proceed to Checkout." Some people have been sending items to themselves to sell later on eBay, some have been ordering the more controversial items as conversation pieces or educational props, (as anti-anti-propaganda), but I plan on using mine as gifts, mostly. I've found no reports on receiving Focus on the Family junk mail after inputting an address, so I figure it's fairly safe.
5. The next screen asks you to sign-up for an account and give your information. Fill it out with fictitious information, enter whatever name and address you like. You might want to make up a phone number too and an e-mail account too. After filling out all the required fields, click "Proceed to Checkout" one more time.
6. This will take you to the "Here is Your Cart" page. You may have to re-enter your data again after this part to actually confirm your account. Eventually, you'll get to the "How Much Would You Like to Donate?" page.
7. Select "Enter other total amount" and enter 0.00 as the amount you would like to pay. (Don't put in a dollar sign or it will ask you for credit-card information.) Don't be fooled by the field in the lower-right-hand corner that shows you the suggested donation amounts, simply Proceed to Checkout.
8. The next screen is a guilt screen, to make you feel bad about how little you donated. ignore it. Ignore it utterly. Think of how many people they're persecuted and had in their "gay kids can be cured" camps. Just proceed to checkout again.
9. Click "Checkout Now."
10. Finally, pass this information on to all your friends. They've got money to back them, we have word of mouth, let's see if we can win.
Damn, I think this is worthy subject to be the 300th post on this blog.Plus, you all can get some free stuff to boot.
Personally, I think I want the Narnia DVD as well as Phil "Philly-Blunt" Johnson's Defeating Darwinism by Opening Minds. I mean, look at this book - it is an EASY TO UNDERSTAND guide to disprove evolution.
Thank GOD that it isn't complicated or filled with actual, you know, SCIENCE.
(BTW, I promise to try to reach 600 posts a lot quicker than 300.)
wojr
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Old as Christ, but Not Old as Dirt
For most of you, today is a special day because Paris Hilton finally drops her debut album on the masses. According to my favorite millionaire whore, Paris, "I, like, cry, when I listen to [her record], it's so good."
For myself, today is special because I reach the ripe old age of 33 today.
Yes, wojr is now as old as Jesus.
Personally, I was hoping to get some Christ-like powers when I woke up this morning.
Tried to turn the water in my toilet to wine. Hell, I would have settled on some malt liquor. But that was a no go.
I’m keeping my eye out for some blind beggars, but I only found some regular ones. So, I still might be able to restore someone’s sight. I might need that home Lasik kit for that one though.
Personally, I’m a little weary about trying to raise the dead. Most dead bodies are locked up in coffins and buried six feet deep. What if I succeed and the poor guy I resurrect is just stuck in the ground forever?? God knows I won’t be digging him up. I’m too old for manual labor. Maybe I’ll stop by a wake tonight and see what magic I can work on the open casket crowd.
Now, correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Jesus have some kind of Solar Death Ray? That would be cool power to have. Even a regular Death Ray would suffice. Maybe only the Ark of the Covenant came with that feature. I’ll have to check with Mel Gibson.
By the way, what the fuck is that BEEE-YATCH Paris Hilton doing releasing her album on MY birthday?? I’d be ok with a new porno from her – but a CD.
Sometimes it feels like the whole world’s against me.
Just like they were against Jesus.
wojr
For most of you, today is a special day because Paris Hilton finally drops her debut album on the masses. According to my favorite millionaire whore, Paris, "I, like, cry, when I listen to [her record], it's so good."
For myself, today is special because I reach the ripe old age of 33 today.
Yes, wojr is now as old as Jesus.
Personally, I was hoping to get some Christ-like powers when I woke up this morning.
Tried to turn the water in my toilet to wine. Hell, I would have settled on some malt liquor. But that was a no go.
I’m keeping my eye out for some blind beggars, but I only found some regular ones. So, I still might be able to restore someone’s sight. I might need that home Lasik kit for that one though.
Personally, I’m a little weary about trying to raise the dead. Most dead bodies are locked up in coffins and buried six feet deep. What if I succeed and the poor guy I resurrect is just stuck in the ground forever?? God knows I won’t be digging him up. I’m too old for manual labor. Maybe I’ll stop by a wake tonight and see what magic I can work on the open casket crowd.
Now, correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Jesus have some kind of Solar Death Ray? That would be cool power to have. Even a regular Death Ray would suffice. Maybe only the Ark of the Covenant came with that feature. I’ll have to check with Mel Gibson.
By the way, what the fuck is that BEEE-YATCH Paris Hilton doing releasing her album on MY birthday?? I’d be ok with a new porno from her – but a CD.
Sometimes it feels like the whole world’s against me.
Just like they were against Jesus.
wojr
Labels: Nostalgia, Religion, Snide Remarks, Whores
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
PRANK CALLING GOD
Call #1
RECEPTIONIST: Good Morning, St. *******'s Church.
CALLER: Is this God's house?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes, it is.
CALLER: Is He in?
RECEPTIONIST: God?
CALLER: Yep.
RECEPTIONIST: Well, God is in all of us.
CALLER: That's pretty funny.
RECEPTIONIST: Why would that be funny?
CALLER: Because I was feeling kind of bloated. I think God is trying to get out.
*Click*
Call #2
RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon, Our **** of Perpetual ******.
CALLER: Is this the Church?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Catholic Church, right?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Do you get many Born-Again Catholics?
RECEPTIONIST: Well, some of parishioners have renewed their ties with God.
CALLER: And renounced their previous wanton ways?
RECEPTIONIST: I suppose that is accurate.
CALLER: So, they gave up any evil items that might lead them to sin?
RECEPTIONIST: I don't understand what you mean by "gave up"?
CALLER: Their porn. What did they do with THEIR PORN? Do you have it?
*Click*
Call #3
RECEPTIONIST: St. ****** the *******.
CALLER: Yes, I have a question on the commandments.
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
RECEPTIONIST: What is your query, sir?
CALLER: Well, the fourth commandment.
RECEPTIONIST: Honoring the Sabbath?
CALLER: Right, that's all it says, "Thou shall not break the Sabbath." Nothing about going to Church.
RECEPTIONIST: But attending Church is the best way to honor the Lord's Day.
CALLER: Can't I worship God at home though?
RECEPTIONIST: You can worship God anywhere, but our Church allows you to be..
CALLER: But, I don't like your Church.
RECEPTIONIST: Why is that, sir?
CALLER: You have one of those Hippie churches. Everything is made from wood. I like my Churches to be granite.
RECEPTIONIST: Sir, our Church is more than just building materials.
CALLER: No one nailed Jesus to granite.
silence
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
*Click*
I'm sure God has a sense of humor.
wojr
Call #1
RECEPTIONIST: Good Morning, St. *******'s Church.
CALLER: Is this God's house?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes, it is.
CALLER: Is He in?
RECEPTIONIST: God?
CALLER: Yep.
RECEPTIONIST: Well, God is in all of us.
CALLER: That's pretty funny.
RECEPTIONIST: Why would that be funny?
CALLER: Because I was feeling kind of bloated. I think God is trying to get out.
*Click*
Call #2
RECEPTIONIST: Good afternoon, Our **** of Perpetual ******.
CALLER: Is this the Church?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Catholic Church, right?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
CALLER: Do you get many Born-Again Catholics?
RECEPTIONIST: Well, some of parishioners have renewed their ties with God.
CALLER: And renounced their previous wanton ways?
RECEPTIONIST: I suppose that is accurate.
CALLER: So, they gave up any evil items that might lead them to sin?
RECEPTIONIST: I don't understand what you mean by "gave up"?
CALLER: Their porn. What did they do with THEIR PORN? Do you have it?
*Click*
Call #3
RECEPTIONIST: St. ****** the *******.
CALLER: Yes, I have a question on the commandments.
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
RECEPTIONIST: What is your query, sir?
CALLER: Well, the fourth commandment.
RECEPTIONIST: Honoring the Sabbath?
CALLER: Right, that's all it says, "Thou shall not break the Sabbath." Nothing about going to Church.
RECEPTIONIST: But attending Church is the best way to honor the Lord's Day.
CALLER: Can't I worship God at home though?
RECEPTIONIST: You can worship God anywhere, but our Church allows you to be..
CALLER: But, I don't like your Church.
RECEPTIONIST: Why is that, sir?
CALLER: You have one of those Hippie churches. Everything is made from wood. I like my Churches to be granite.
RECEPTIONIST: Sir, our Church is more than just building materials.
CALLER: No one nailed Jesus to granite.
silence
RECEPTIONIST: Would you like to speak to a priest?
CALLER: Nah, you'll do.
*Click*
I'm sure God has a sense of humor.
wojr
Labels: My Writing, Religion, Snide Remarks
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
I Wouldn't Trust Jeb Bush With This Election Either
When I mentioned yesterday that religion needed better ways of advertising, this is vaguely what I was I talking about.
It would be the first time a Persian would carry the Redneck vote.
wojr
When I mentioned yesterday that religion needed better ways of advertising, this is vaguely what I was I talking about.
It would be the first time a Persian would carry the Redneck vote.
wojr
Labels: Political, Religion, Snide Remarks
Monday, April 26, 2004
It's Not Like I Want The Taxes To Be RETROACTIVE
Saturday, I was trying to cross the street when this car pulls up in front of me. The vehicle contains three quasi-elderly women so I have no real fear of being robbed or raped. (Hope, but no fear.) Thinking they needed directions, I leaned over so my eyes are at their eye-level instead of my crotch. And what did they do?
Offer me some crappy pamphlet in addition to salvation in the Almighty Lord Jesus Christ.
Which just puts me in the worst mood ever.
First off, I want to know what aspect about me says that I need, let alone want, salvation? Don't I just exude content with my sinning ways?
Secondly, does Jesus need the extra public relations? Do people not know who Jesus is? Hasn't Mel Gibson fixed that problem?
Lastly, do we really need drive-by conversions? (Also, why didn't the salvation of my soul at least warrant them parking the car first and coming up to me on foot? No, all my ever-lasting soul gets is a California roll.) Are churches and synagogues camouflaged now? Do we not know where the Gods live anymore?
I'll concede that the literature distribution must net them some converts. These people have been doing it for way too long not to have any success. If it didn't work, they would have stopped by now. Their batting average can't be that good though, but once they get you. OH BOY. They've got you. Lock, stock and barrel, man. Let the tithing begin.
Now don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of religion in this country. I think any church can set up shop, open the doors, put an ad in the yellow pages and see who shows up. I may bitch about the advertising, but they just need some wittier slogans for me to get over that. Telling me I'll burn forever in a lake of hellfire won't make me a fan too quickly.
My problem, however, is with the money. In my opinion, our country gives way too much money to religion. Especially the South. Religion is big business. Has been for the last five, six hundred years and I accept that. If there is a market for it, well, you can't blame the business for selling it. But we can tax them. WE CAN TAX THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of defense spending. But it helps the nation's economy. It means more jobs for Americans, more capital in the marketplace. Defense contractors while probably overcharging the government, have to pay taxes on that income. Their employees have to pay income taxes as well. The money comes full circle. It ends up helping education, research grants, more defense spending, flying G.W. out on another family vacation.
Now, I know some money given to churches goes towards social programs, food programs - various things that help the community. Kudos to them. But not all the money goes there. Who pays for those huge cathedrals & synagogues, the solid gold tabernacles and Stars of David, payoffs to families of the sexually assaulted, or whatever it is the Hare Krishnas need? But hey, it is the churches' money, let them spend it as they see fit. But why should they be excluded from paying taxes? If not income tax, how about sales tax? Hey, if it reduces the taxes of their worshippers, that should mean more discretionary income for their followers which should mean more donations in the offering basket. Right?
It seems to make sense, but it may just be me. I can be bitter. I have an afterlife of fire and brimstone to look forward to.
wojr
Saturday, I was trying to cross the street when this car pulls up in front of me. The vehicle contains three quasi-elderly women so I have no real fear of being robbed or raped. (Hope, but no fear.) Thinking they needed directions, I leaned over so my eyes are at their eye-level instead of my crotch. And what did they do?
Offer me some crappy pamphlet in addition to salvation in the Almighty Lord Jesus Christ.
Which just puts me in the worst mood ever.
First off, I want to know what aspect about me says that I need, let alone want, salvation? Don't I just exude content with my sinning ways?
Secondly, does Jesus need the extra public relations? Do people not know who Jesus is? Hasn't Mel Gibson fixed that problem?
Lastly, do we really need drive-by conversions? (Also, why didn't the salvation of my soul at least warrant them parking the car first and coming up to me on foot? No, all my ever-lasting soul gets is a California roll.) Are churches and synagogues camouflaged now? Do we not know where the Gods live anymore?
I'll concede that the literature distribution must net them some converts. These people have been doing it for way too long not to have any success. If it didn't work, they would have stopped by now. Their batting average can't be that good though, but once they get you. OH BOY. They've got you. Lock, stock and barrel, man. Let the tithing begin.
Now don't get me wrong, I am all for freedom of religion in this country. I think any church can set up shop, open the doors, put an ad in the yellow pages and see who shows up. I may bitch about the advertising, but they just need some wittier slogans for me to get over that. Telling me I'll burn forever in a lake of hellfire won't make me a fan too quickly.
My problem, however, is with the money. In my opinion, our country gives way too much money to religion. Especially the South. Religion is big business. Has been for the last five, six hundred years and I accept that. If there is a market for it, well, you can't blame the business for selling it. But we can tax them. WE CAN TAX THE HELL OUT OF THEM.
I mean, I'm not the biggest fan of defense spending. But it helps the nation's economy. It means more jobs for Americans, more capital in the marketplace. Defense contractors while probably overcharging the government, have to pay taxes on that income. Their employees have to pay income taxes as well. The money comes full circle. It ends up helping education, research grants, more defense spending, flying G.W. out on another family vacation.
Now, I know some money given to churches goes towards social programs, food programs - various things that help the community. Kudos to them. But not all the money goes there. Who pays for those huge cathedrals & synagogues, the solid gold tabernacles and Stars of David, payoffs to families of the sexually assaulted, or whatever it is the Hare Krishnas need? But hey, it is the churches' money, let them spend it as they see fit. But why should they be excluded from paying taxes? If not income tax, how about sales tax? Hey, if it reduces the taxes of their worshippers, that should mean more discretionary income for their followers which should mean more donations in the offering basket. Right?
It seems to make sense, but it may just be me. I can be bitter. I have an afterlife of fire and brimstone to look forward to.
wojr
Labels: Advice, My Writing, Political, Religion, Snide Remarks
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS ONE (IF I BELIEVED IN HELL)
Memo from God (aka Allah) to All Terrorists
"Hey fellas,
I think there has been some misinformation spread among you and your cohorts. There are no virgins in Heaven. We give everyone a 'go' at the Pearly Gates to make sure no frigid bitches make it in here. It's kinda like that Patrick Swayze movie, Road House, where the bouncers have their way with the underage lady bar customers. Man, I love that Swayze guy. I wish I could get my hair like that.
So, dudes, I'm sorry but, unless you're after the male virgins, I can't even spare you one 'unspoiled' piece of ass, let alone whatever ungodly number you've all been promised.
Get it? 'Ungodly'? Man, that cracks me up.
Sayounara Bitches, I'm off to pull me 'a Fredo'.
Big Poppa"
wojr
Memo from God (aka Allah) to All Terrorists
"Hey fellas,
I think there has been some misinformation spread among you and your cohorts. There are no virgins in Heaven. We give everyone a 'go' at the Pearly Gates to make sure no frigid bitches make it in here. It's kinda like that Patrick Swayze movie, Road House, where the bouncers have their way with the underage lady bar customers. Man, I love that Swayze guy. I wish I could get my hair like that.
So, dudes, I'm sorry but, unless you're after the male virgins, I can't even spare you one 'unspoiled' piece of ass, let alone whatever ungodly number you've all been promised.
Get it? 'Ungodly'? Man, that cracks me up.
Sayounara Bitches, I'm off to pull me 'a Fredo'.
Big Poppa"
wojr
Labels: My Writing, Religion, Snide Remarks
Monday, April 12, 2004
Alright This Has Stopped Being Funny..
From eonline.com:
Partly as a result of Janet Jackson's Super Bowl boob stunt and the current FCC crackdown on indecency, Victoria's Secret confirming it is canceling its nationally televised fashion show this year.
Stop the country, I want to get off.
Ever since I started this damn site, I've wanted to rail against this Janet Jackson Nipple-Ring Return to Sanctimony Bullshit that has been semi-sweeping the undercurrent of our country, but I didn't.
First of all, it seemed like too obvious a target. In my humble opinion, attacking Happy Days takes skill, while the Jackson issue is the easy lay-up.
Secondly, I didn't want to call any more attention to it (even what feeble attention my words would warrant). I just wanted the whole thing to go away.
BUT IT IS NOT GOING AWAY.
It is entrenching itself like a local Walmart. Here we are, almost three months later and the damn Nipplegate fiasco is still rolling. (By the way, have we now officially run out of words to slap in front of 'gate'? When is that nonsense going to end? DILDOGATE? SKEETGATE?) A millisecond flash of semi-metallic Nubian bosom during the half-time show of the year's biggest excuse for beer advertisement & consumption is robbing the American zeitgeist of whatever chutzpah it has generated since the invention of the crotchless panty. (Wait, let me bask in the glow of that sentence. AHHH!)
What really bothers me I bet if we saw Britney Spear's ta-ta instead, there would be no great uproar. (Wait, let me bask in the mental image of Britney's breast. AHHH!)
WHY?
Are bigots upset that the first breast their pre-adolescent sons saw was African-American? Newsflash: National Geographic has been providing prepubescent males (especially the repressed Baptist prepubescent males) their first glimpses of the Black Tittie for decades and no one is censoring them.
Were people hoping against hope that Janet would be the one Jackson to avoid public shame and embarrassment? Newsflash: Compared to the crap Michael and LaToya have going on, Janet would need to strap a Buick to her chest to be the degenerate of that clan. She may have staged the whole thing to take some heat away from the pedophile allegations. I don't have a sister, but if I had one that flashed her breasts to support me at a time of difficulty, she would get my props.
Were football fans around the world upset because they missed the Third Quarter because they had to explain to their children what a Nipple Adornment was? Newsflash: You all need to spend more time with your kids. Talk to them about the breasts, because breasts will find them (or vice versa). Remember your own youth, when newsstands and convenience stores housed those precious magazines filled with mysterious T&A. Now, remember that was before the advent of the Internet. So take the time now and explain the wonders of knockers to your boys and girls. And while you're at it, explain to me the whole mammary fascination. Personally, I love them. Don't know why, just do. Is it because they provided my sustenance through my newborn stage? Is it because I don't have a pair of my own? Is it all Hugh Hefner's fault? Will someone please tell me why I'm like this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD? Because if you can't, then don't take the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show away from me.
THE TRUTH:
I cannot remember the first time my young ass saw some bare boobies. I know I did though and, as previously mentioned, I knew I liked them.
However, I do remember vividly the first time I saw a man break his leg. Lawrence Taylor sacked Joe Theisman so hard - his leg broke in three places and Theisman's career was over. The visual was utterly disgusting and forever etched on my memory. Now, I hate the whole rant how Americans are so repressed and glorify violence while abhorring sexuality, but DAMMIT, just because I hate it doesn't make it untrue. Hours of men hurling themselves at each other, putting themselves in serious physical peril over the oddest shaped pigskin ball are perfectly acceptable for your children to watch. Some gratuitous nudity calls for the rage and bile of the FCC. Strange enough, the Europeans are fine with the sex & the nudity and those bastards are ass-deep in the Catholicism. The whole thing is beyond me.
Plus, don't forget while you're watching those modern day gladiators duke it out on the 100 yards of Astroturf that the referee is about to call a television timeout for the wonders of the beer commercial. Now, who exactly are these commercials for? Not the average football fan, their fridges and coolers are stocked before the first coin toss. Not the average beer drinker, they have long ago formed their own brand loyalties based on taste and hangover potential. These ads, with their cute little lobsters and farting reindeer, are for the kids. Budweiser wants the first beer your little tyke buys from the homeless guy that hangs out behind the liquor store to be a Bud (or at the very least, Bud Light). No talking dog or clever ad is going to make the common man switch brands. It would take two chicks wrestling in a fountain to do that - but that's almost like what got us here in the first place. So, talk to your kid about beer when you're discussing the happy fun bags - it will make a great introduction to the area of beer-goggling.
Do you see a trend here? Taking to your kids? There are many, many things a parent needs to talk to their kids about. It's almost like this parenting thing would be a full-time gig, you think? With all the conversations, the monitoring of TV viewing & the Internet, plus all the feeding, bathing, and clothing. It's a wonder how some parents find time to wage their socio-political agendas that rob me of my Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Thankfully, we have special interest groups looking out for our.. well, our interests.
But before I finish, I just have to say that people would watch that Victoria's Secret show specifically for the possibility of a wardrobe malfunction. That is the whole point, and no silly pretense of half-time entertainment. Of course, eighty percent would watch to be tantalized by the possible "malfunctions", while sixty percent would watch so they could be outraged at the exposure of the nudie bits. (No, my math is not wrong. Forty percent have issues and would be both tantalized & outraged.) However, Victoria has forsaken us, because it is an Election year. It is easier for Politicians to pretend to fix our nation's moral fiber than it is to repair the Social Security situation or resolve the Iraq conundrum.
So, Janet's tit came out of its halter and saw its shadow - we're due for several more weeks of hypocrisy. Don't put your shovels into storage yet. We could be knee-deep in it by morning.
WOJR.COM - FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHT TO BOOBS
wojr
From eonline.com:
Partly as a result of Janet Jackson's Super Bowl boob stunt and the current FCC crackdown on indecency, Victoria's Secret confirming it is canceling its nationally televised fashion show this year.
Stop the country, I want to get off.
Ever since I started this damn site, I've wanted to rail against this Janet Jackson Nipple-Ring Return to Sanctimony Bullshit that has been semi-sweeping the undercurrent of our country, but I didn't.
First of all, it seemed like too obvious a target. In my humble opinion, attacking Happy Days takes skill, while the Jackson issue is the easy lay-up.
Secondly, I didn't want to call any more attention to it (even what feeble attention my words would warrant). I just wanted the whole thing to go away.
BUT IT IS NOT GOING AWAY.
It is entrenching itself like a local Walmart. Here we are, almost three months later and the damn Nipplegate fiasco is still rolling. (By the way, have we now officially run out of words to slap in front of 'gate'? When is that nonsense going to end? DILDOGATE? SKEETGATE?) A millisecond flash of semi-metallic Nubian bosom during the half-time show of the year's biggest excuse for beer advertisement & consumption is robbing the American zeitgeist of whatever chutzpah it has generated since the invention of the crotchless panty. (Wait, let me bask in the glow of that sentence. AHHH!)
What really bothers me I bet if we saw Britney Spear's ta-ta instead, there would be no great uproar. (Wait, let me bask in the mental image of Britney's breast. AHHH!)
WHY?
Are bigots upset that the first breast their pre-adolescent sons saw was African-American? Newsflash: National Geographic has been providing prepubescent males (especially the repressed Baptist prepubescent males) their first glimpses of the Black Tittie for decades and no one is censoring them.
Were people hoping against hope that Janet would be the one Jackson to avoid public shame and embarrassment? Newsflash: Compared to the crap Michael and LaToya have going on, Janet would need to strap a Buick to her chest to be the degenerate of that clan. She may have staged the whole thing to take some heat away from the pedophile allegations. I don't have a sister, but if I had one that flashed her breasts to support me at a time of difficulty, she would get my props.
Were football fans around the world upset because they missed the Third Quarter because they had to explain to their children what a Nipple Adornment was? Newsflash: You all need to spend more time with your kids. Talk to them about the breasts, because breasts will find them (or vice versa). Remember your own youth, when newsstands and convenience stores housed those precious magazines filled with mysterious T&A. Now, remember that was before the advent of the Internet. So take the time now and explain the wonders of knockers to your boys and girls. And while you're at it, explain to me the whole mammary fascination. Personally, I love them. Don't know why, just do. Is it because they provided my sustenance through my newborn stage? Is it because I don't have a pair of my own? Is it all Hugh Hefner's fault? Will someone please tell me why I'm like this, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD? Because if you can't, then don't take the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show away from me.
THE TRUTH:
I cannot remember the first time my young ass saw some bare boobies. I know I did though and, as previously mentioned, I knew I liked them.
However, I do remember vividly the first time I saw a man break his leg. Lawrence Taylor sacked Joe Theisman so hard - his leg broke in three places and Theisman's career was over. The visual was utterly disgusting and forever etched on my memory. Now, I hate the whole rant how Americans are so repressed and glorify violence while abhorring sexuality, but DAMMIT, just because I hate it doesn't make it untrue. Hours of men hurling themselves at each other, putting themselves in serious physical peril over the oddest shaped pigskin ball are perfectly acceptable for your children to watch. Some gratuitous nudity calls for the rage and bile of the FCC. Strange enough, the Europeans are fine with the sex & the nudity and those bastards are ass-deep in the Catholicism. The whole thing is beyond me.
Plus, don't forget while you're watching those modern day gladiators duke it out on the 100 yards of Astroturf that the referee is about to call a television timeout for the wonders of the beer commercial. Now, who exactly are these commercials for? Not the average football fan, their fridges and coolers are stocked before the first coin toss. Not the average beer drinker, they have long ago formed their own brand loyalties based on taste and hangover potential. These ads, with their cute little lobsters and farting reindeer, are for the kids. Budweiser wants the first beer your little tyke buys from the homeless guy that hangs out behind the liquor store to be a Bud (or at the very least, Bud Light). No talking dog or clever ad is going to make the common man switch brands. It would take two chicks wrestling in a fountain to do that - but that's almost like what got us here in the first place. So, talk to your kid about beer when you're discussing the happy fun bags - it will make a great introduction to the area of beer-goggling.
Do you see a trend here? Taking to your kids? There are many, many things a parent needs to talk to their kids about. It's almost like this parenting thing would be a full-time gig, you think? With all the conversations, the monitoring of TV viewing & the Internet, plus all the feeding, bathing, and clothing. It's a wonder how some parents find time to wage their socio-political agendas that rob me of my Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Thankfully, we have special interest groups looking out for our.. well, our interests.
But before I finish, I just have to say that people would watch that Victoria's Secret show specifically for the possibility of a wardrobe malfunction. That is the whole point, and no silly pretense of half-time entertainment. Of course, eighty percent would watch to be tantalized by the possible "malfunctions", while sixty percent would watch so they could be outraged at the exposure of the nudie bits. (No, my math is not wrong. Forty percent have issues and would be both tantalized & outraged.) However, Victoria has forsaken us, because it is an Election year. It is easier for Politicians to pretend to fix our nation's moral fiber than it is to repair the Social Security situation or resolve the Iraq conundrum.
So, Janet's tit came out of its halter and saw its shadow - we're due for several more weeks of hypocrisy. Don't put your shovels into storage yet. We could be knee-deep in it by morning.
WOJR.COM - FIGHTING FOR YOUR RIGHT TO BOOBS
wojr
Labels: News, Porn, Religion, Snide Remarks
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Judas Priest is just glad they never released that eye-gouging song..
So, a man in Texas was in county jail for cutting out the hearts of his son, estranged wife & her daughter and ends up gouging his eye of its socket with his bare hands.
Why did he do it? Because the Bible told him to - "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell." Mark 9:47
(Quick tangent: The article does not say whether or not the man, Andre Thomas, had a cellmate, but imagine if he did. Imagine you're sitting in that jail cell waiting for your arraignment and your bunkmate rips his bloody eye right out of his head with his bare hands. How's that for a 'Scared Straight' program?)
The part of the whole affair that currently bothers me is, given the fellow's inspirational source material, you just know the religious right would acknowledge the man's obvious psychological problems and shrug off any implications of fault on the Bible's part. That verse was not meant to be taken literally because, well, it's not a passage that furthers their social agendas.
But if Mr. One-Eyed Thomas had decided to mess with his depth perception due to a heavy metal song or a Miramax film, well, we would be knee-deep in their propaganda efforts by now. The man's psych issues would just become a footnote and they'd be slinging mud at the idolaters.
But forget about all that, we've got Janet Jackson's boob to rail against. One body part at a time, people.
Have a happy Holy Week.
wojr
So, a man in Texas was in county jail for cutting out the hearts of his son, estranged wife & her daughter and ends up gouging his eye of its socket with his bare hands.
Why did he do it? Because the Bible told him to - "And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell." Mark 9:47
(Quick tangent: The article does not say whether or not the man, Andre Thomas, had a cellmate, but imagine if he did. Imagine you're sitting in that jail cell waiting for your arraignment and your bunkmate rips his bloody eye right out of his head with his bare hands. How's that for a 'Scared Straight' program?)
The part of the whole affair that currently bothers me is, given the fellow's inspirational source material, you just know the religious right would acknowledge the man's obvious psychological problems and shrug off any implications of fault on the Bible's part. That verse was not meant to be taken literally because, well, it's not a passage that furthers their social agendas.
But if Mr. One-Eyed Thomas had decided to mess with his depth perception due to a heavy metal song or a Miramax film, well, we would be knee-deep in their propaganda efforts by now. The man's psych issues would just become a footnote and they'd be slinging mud at the idolaters.
But forget about all that, we've got Janet Jackson's boob to rail against. One body part at a time, people.
Have a happy Holy Week.
wojr
Labels: News, Religion, Snide Remarks
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Maybe I Should Pitch 'Joseph and the Colored Coat Thing' starring Michael Chiklis
With the overwhelming success of The Passion of the Christ, there is much talk in Hollywood about making more religious based pictures. Just like after the success of Titanic, there was a push towards historical disaster pics. Then, after Spider-Man, we were/are inundated with comic book movies. When there is money to be had, Hollywood will try to recapture lightning in a bottle. So, get ready because the Pearl Harbors and Daredevils of the biblical world are sure to be coming to a multiplex soon.
But is the success of Passion just based on the religious content? Aren't some people going just for the controversy revolving around the film? Just to be part of the cultural zeitgeist similar to the success of the Blair Witch Project? I don't know. Films with controversial religious content have never really fared well in the box office. Look at Priest, Dogma, and even The Last Temptation of Christ. All were, at best, considered a moderate financial success. (Can't you just imagine Kevin Smith railing away at Passion's grosses? "Where's my religious movie money, bi-yatch? I made Dogma. I had death threats. I wants my money. F- Mel Gibson. F- William Donohue.") Of course, all were decried by religious groups as anti-Catholic. I guess controversy is good for the wallet but only if it's directed away from Catholicism. Maybe if Hitler had gone after the Catholics, the grosses of Schindler's List would have been better.
Therefore, I guess I should start watching what I say & just rage against other groups. Like homosexuals. Eminem seems to have done pretty well with that route.
Keeping on topic, sort of, writer Peter David has written what he envisions will be inevitable South Park episode dealing with the Passion of the Christ. I like Peter David's writings, but his vision for this episode really doesn't stretch the imagination. Now, if he wrote about an episode of The Shield that dealt with the issue - that would have been something. Hmmm..
Tonight on a special episode of The Shield: Following the Los Angeles Premiere of "The Passion of the Christ", Vic and his strike team stumble upon the head of a prominent Catholic civil rights organization in a tryst with a transvestite that is (gasp) agnostic. In exchange for Mackey covering up the transgression, the malefactor agrees to sabotage Aceveda's election by labeling him a heretic and distributing pictures of him eating meat on a Friday. While at the Passion premiere, Lem and Shane strand Ronnie with repressed homosexual Julien in order to go see "Starsky & Hutch" instead.
wojr
With the overwhelming success of The Passion of the Christ, there is much talk in Hollywood about making more religious based pictures. Just like after the success of Titanic, there was a push towards historical disaster pics. Then, after Spider-Man, we were/are inundated with comic book movies. When there is money to be had, Hollywood will try to recapture lightning in a bottle. So, get ready because the Pearl Harbors and Daredevils of the biblical world are sure to be coming to a multiplex soon.
But is the success of Passion just based on the religious content? Aren't some people going just for the controversy revolving around the film? Just to be part of the cultural zeitgeist similar to the success of the Blair Witch Project? I don't know. Films with controversial religious content have never really fared well in the box office. Look at Priest, Dogma, and even The Last Temptation of Christ. All were, at best, considered a moderate financial success. (Can't you just imagine Kevin Smith railing away at Passion's grosses? "Where's my religious movie money, bi-yatch? I made Dogma. I had death threats. I wants my money. F- Mel Gibson. F- William Donohue.") Of course, all were decried by religious groups as anti-Catholic. I guess controversy is good for the wallet but only if it's directed away from Catholicism. Maybe if Hitler had gone after the Catholics, the grosses of Schindler's List would have been better.
Therefore, I guess I should start watching what I say & just rage against other groups. Like homosexuals. Eminem seems to have done pretty well with that route.
Keeping on topic, sort of, writer Peter David has written what he envisions will be inevitable South Park episode dealing with the Passion of the Christ. I like Peter David's writings, but his vision for this episode really doesn't stretch the imagination. Now, if he wrote about an episode of The Shield that dealt with the issue - that would have been something. Hmmm..
Tonight on a special episode of The Shield: Following the Los Angeles Premiere of "The Passion of the Christ", Vic and his strike team stumble upon the head of a prominent Catholic civil rights organization in a tryst with a transvestite that is (gasp) agnostic. In exchange for Mackey covering up the transgression, the malefactor agrees to sabotage Aceveda's election by labeling him a heretic and distributing pictures of him eating meat on a Friday. While at the Passion premiere, Lem and Shane strand Ronnie with repressed homosexual Julien in order to go see "Starsky & Hutch" instead.
wojr
Labels: Hollywood, Religion, Snide Remarks
Monday, March 15, 2004
"Martha Stewart Should Have Made One of Those Formation Privileges"
In what seems like a weekly trend, the front page of the LA Times disturbs me.
First off, the coverage of the bombing in Madrid continues.
Then, there is news of the gruesome mass murder up in Fresno.
But then, we have Cardinal Mahony's latest attempt to keep church documents secret in relation to priests accused of molesting children. The Cardinal claims that there was a "formation privilege" between a bishop and the priests under him (pun intended). That it is the bishop's "ecclesiastical duty to provide a lifetime of formative spiritual guidance to his priests" prevents the release of the requested information. God knows (pun not really intended) that I am all for the separation of church and state, but does anyone really believe the bishop is looking out for the individual priests in question or even protecting the penitent's right to communicate with a priest without fear of legal reprisal? He is trying to protect his own ass, first, and the public face of the church, second.
This week, the LA Weekly also ran a piece on Mahony's "hardball legal tactics in the clergy sex-abuse scandal". In it, they list 15 US bishops that have resigned or retired in relation to sexual misconduct or the cover-up of such offenses. Wait - I'm sorry - in relation to accusations of sexual misconduct or the cover-up of such supposed offenses. Mahony is just worried that he might end up #16.
Don't you think the Church should just come clean about any wrongdoings and try to put their dirty laundry behind them? I mean it worked for Hugh Grant. He admitted to his transgressions and he ended up starring in a movie called "About A Boy." Of course, he was only tied to a crack whore.
The more they try to hide the truth just adds to number of front page stories you'll see attacking the church and those front page stories only adds to the public perception of priests as potential pedophiles. Holy Alliteration, Batman! (Pun Intended)
wojr
In what seems like a weekly trend, the front page of the LA Times disturbs me.
First off, the coverage of the bombing in Madrid continues.
Then, there is news of the gruesome mass murder up in Fresno.
But then, we have Cardinal Mahony's latest attempt to keep church documents secret in relation to priests accused of molesting children. The Cardinal claims that there was a "formation privilege" between a bishop and the priests under him (pun intended). That it is the bishop's "ecclesiastical duty to provide a lifetime of formative spiritual guidance to his priests" prevents the release of the requested information. God knows (pun not really intended) that I am all for the separation of church and state, but does anyone really believe the bishop is looking out for the individual priests in question or even protecting the penitent's right to communicate with a priest without fear of legal reprisal? He is trying to protect his own ass, first, and the public face of the church, second.
This week, the LA Weekly also ran a piece on Mahony's "hardball legal tactics in the clergy sex-abuse scandal". In it, they list 15 US bishops that have resigned or retired in relation to sexual misconduct or the cover-up of such offenses. Wait - I'm sorry - in relation to accusations of sexual misconduct or the cover-up of such supposed offenses. Mahony is just worried that he might end up #16.
Don't you think the Church should just come clean about any wrongdoings and try to put their dirty laundry behind them? I mean it worked for Hugh Grant. He admitted to his transgressions and he ended up starring in a movie called "About A Boy." Of course, he was only tied to a crack whore.
The more they try to hide the truth just adds to number of front page stories you'll see attacking the church and those front page stories only adds to the public perception of priests as potential pedophiles. Holy Alliteration, Batman! (Pun Intended)
wojr
Labels: News, Religion, Sex, Snide Remarks
Monday, March 08, 2004
"For Artistic Reasons, I kept the Judas jokes to a minimum."
I don't think tonight is going to be a big a TV night in the wojr household. Too much work to do. But the programming being offered is intriguing to say the least.
You could tune in ABC to see the TV Movie "Judas." (I bet the folks at Disney are loving all the Mel Gibson/"Passion" frenzy. "Come over to ABC and check out the less than bloody version of events - for FREE!")
Or you could go over to NBC and watch "Behind the Camera: Charlie's Angels." I will be honest. Based on the one ad I saw for it - I am tempted. Some actress doing a mean vocal impersonation of Kate Jackson's sexy voice. Wallace Langham pimped out in the sleazy 70s gear as Farrah's opportunistic hustler of a manager.
Then, I read this-
According to EONLINE.com:
"NBC cutting the final scene in its upcoming Charlie's Angels TV movie after Farrah Fawcett's former manager threatened legal action for being portrayed as an oportunistic [sic] hustler. The network claims the ending was altered was [sic] artistic reasons."
Does anyone ever believe it when they use "artistic reasons" as the excuse? Just say, "out of fear of litigation from an opportunistic hustler, we edited the show." (And who's spell-checking shit over at E!? Maybe they call it E! because entertainment is too hard to spell.)
wojr
I don't think tonight is going to be a big a TV night in the wojr household. Too much work to do. But the programming being offered is intriguing to say the least.
You could tune in ABC to see the TV Movie "Judas." (I bet the folks at Disney are loving all the Mel Gibson/"Passion" frenzy. "Come over to ABC and check out the less than bloody version of events - for FREE!")
Or you could go over to NBC and watch "Behind the Camera: Charlie's Angels." I will be honest. Based on the one ad I saw for it - I am tempted. Some actress doing a mean vocal impersonation of Kate Jackson's sexy voice. Wallace Langham pimped out in the sleazy 70s gear as Farrah's opportunistic hustler of a manager.
Then, I read this-
According to EONLINE.com:
"NBC cutting the final scene in its upcoming Charlie's Angels TV movie after Farrah Fawcett's former manager threatened legal action for being portrayed as an oportunistic [sic] hustler. The network claims the ending was altered was [sic] artistic reasons."
Does anyone ever believe it when they use "artistic reasons" as the excuse? Just say, "out of fear of litigation from an opportunistic hustler, we edited the show." (And who's spell-checking shit over at E!? Maybe they call it E! because entertainment is too hard to spell.)
wojr
Labels: Hollywood, News, Religion, Snide Remarks
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Be Forewarned...
What is this all about?
No, not in the grandiose "meaning of life" manner. I am referring to what this asinine page is all about. Before jumping on the "blog" bandwagon, I spent many an hour looking at other individual's diary-like contributions to the Internet (when you call it 'research', wasting time can be relatively guilt-free) and noticed that many of these on-line journals have a primary focus or direction. I have born witness to web logs devoted to knitting, comic book creating in Kansas, the defense of Michael Jackson, proving that Secretary Rumsfield is actually the devil and the price comparison of hookers in third world countries (when you call it 'research', third world prostitution can be relatively guilt-free).
This journal will not be as centered as those and not just because I am not what one would call a centered person. It is just that those others are not only occasionally very frightening but more often than not repetitive.
This space is for me to get the voices out of my head and down on "paper". The topics will definitely vary. Sometimes they will focus on Global Thermonuclear War. Sometimes they will deal with how an acquaintance from college had her crotch "burn" for an entire year. If I don't know what to expect, I doubt any of you can. Ergo, we all can remain interested.
However, I think I should issue a warning, like one of these disclaimers issued out before all the really good TV shows. I don't like to shy away from things. I might not offer my opinion on topics I feel ill informed on, but I don't avoid areas because they are so-called "hot topics". I love the grey areas of our society. They interest me. They drive me towards discussion. Often, they inspire the things I write about. To be honest, I have to avoid most of those topics every weekday from 8AM to 5PM for the sake of office politics. I won't avoid them here.
So, here's a quick breakdown on where I'll be on these issues:
Politics - If believing that education should get more of our tax dollars and that everyone is entitled to quality medical care makes me a liberal, then I am a liberal. Now, my other viewpoints in the political realm might range from the slightly conservative to the radical left, but my passion for those points will never equal the level of those first two. (But, I will admit that the Patriot Act scares the shit out of me.)
So, be forewarned..
Religion - I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from the age of 9 through 21. Personally, I like god. And by god, I mean "whatever that is more than human and created all the shit you see in the universe". I am, however, not so fond of man, especially the ones doing things in a god's name. That feeling stems back prior to 9/11. So, don't expect me to back the organized religions of the world. Now, don't get me wrong. I greatly admire people with faith. If you have a strong bond with your deity of choice, you get all my props. Just don't try to push me into that same relationship and, Heavens to Betsy, don't go condemning me or anyone else to your conceptualization of an afterlife.
So, be forewarned...
Discrimination - My mother didn't exactly teach me a great deal in relation to living a 'good' life, but she did impart one very important nugget of info - "Judge people only on how they treat you". Back in grade school, one of my friends, Brian Hope, was black (and I'm pretty sure that he still is). Actually, I remember having a crush on his older sister, but cannot seem to recall her name at the moment. In the middle of some stupid, youthful argument, I dropped the "N-Bomb" on young Brian, not really knowing the true ramifications of the word. When news of my transgression got back to my mother, she beat the crap out of me. Now my mother had a tendency for whooping my ass, but even now, twenty years later, I think that was one time she was justified in her actions. Thus, I still "judge people only on how they treat me". Only know, in my cynical 'old age' that has become more "I give everyone the equal opportunity to show his or her inner ass". So, I don't care about the color of your skin, the nation of your birth or how you get your sexual/romantic kicks, because all the people that I really despise tend to be white, straight Americans.
So, be forewarned...
Profanity - I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Sometimes I will fail. Even when it comes to those dreaded "C-words".
So, be forewarned...
Now that all the necessary opening warnings are out there, let's get back to our regular scheduled programming.
wojr
What is this all about?
No, not in the grandiose "meaning of life" manner. I am referring to what this asinine page is all about. Before jumping on the "blog" bandwagon, I spent many an hour looking at other individual's diary-like contributions to the Internet (when you call it 'research', wasting time can be relatively guilt-free) and noticed that many of these on-line journals have a primary focus or direction. I have born witness to web logs devoted to knitting, comic book creating in Kansas, the defense of Michael Jackson, proving that Secretary Rumsfield is actually the devil and the price comparison of hookers in third world countries (when you call it 'research', third world prostitution can be relatively guilt-free).
This journal will not be as centered as those and not just because I am not what one would call a centered person. It is just that those others are not only occasionally very frightening but more often than not repetitive.
This space is for me to get the voices out of my head and down on "paper". The topics will definitely vary. Sometimes they will focus on Global Thermonuclear War. Sometimes they will deal with how an acquaintance from college had her crotch "burn" for an entire year. If I don't know what to expect, I doubt any of you can. Ergo, we all can remain interested.
However, I think I should issue a warning, like one of these disclaimers issued out before all the really good TV shows. I don't like to shy away from things. I might not offer my opinion on topics I feel ill informed on, but I don't avoid areas because they are so-called "hot topics". I love the grey areas of our society. They interest me. They drive me towards discussion. Often, they inspire the things I write about. To be honest, I have to avoid most of those topics every weekday from 8AM to 5PM for the sake of office politics. I won't avoid them here.
So, here's a quick breakdown on where I'll be on these issues:
Politics - If believing that education should get more of our tax dollars and that everyone is entitled to quality medical care makes me a liberal, then I am a liberal. Now, my other viewpoints in the political realm might range from the slightly conservative to the radical left, but my passion for those points will never equal the level of those first two. (But, I will admit that the Patriot Act scares the shit out of me.)
So, be forewarned..
Religion - I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic school from the age of 9 through 21. Personally, I like god. And by god, I mean "whatever that is more than human and created all the shit you see in the universe". I am, however, not so fond of man, especially the ones doing things in a god's name. That feeling stems back prior to 9/11. So, don't expect me to back the organized religions of the world. Now, don't get me wrong. I greatly admire people with faith. If you have a strong bond with your deity of choice, you get all my props. Just don't try to push me into that same relationship and, Heavens to Betsy, don't go condemning me or anyone else to your conceptualization of an afterlife.
So, be forewarned...
Discrimination - My mother didn't exactly teach me a great deal in relation to living a 'good' life, but she did impart one very important nugget of info - "Judge people only on how they treat you". Back in grade school, one of my friends, Brian Hope, was black (and I'm pretty sure that he still is). Actually, I remember having a crush on his older sister, but cannot seem to recall her name at the moment. In the middle of some stupid, youthful argument, I dropped the "N-Bomb" on young Brian, not really knowing the true ramifications of the word. When news of my transgression got back to my mother, she beat the crap out of me. Now my mother had a tendency for whooping my ass, but even now, twenty years later, I think that was one time she was justified in her actions. Thus, I still "judge people only on how they treat me". Only know, in my cynical 'old age' that has become more "I give everyone the equal opportunity to show his or her inner ass". So, I don't care about the color of your skin, the nation of your birth or how you get your sexual/romantic kicks, because all the people that I really despise tend to be white, straight Americans.
So, be forewarned...
Profanity - I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Sometimes I will fail. Even when it comes to those dreaded "C-words".
So, be forewarned...
Now that all the necessary opening warnings are out there, let's get back to our regular scheduled programming.
wojr
Labels: Advice, Political, Religion, Snide Remarks, Whores
