wojr.com: more than just penis euphemisms (but not by much)

Language is a peculiar thing, especially when you take the time to closely examine it.

Take, for example, the expression "his patience has worn thin." Why do we only comment on the waif-like nature of one’s patience? How come no over ever remarks about the thickness of one’s stoicism?

Wow, that fellow there has a rather thick and robust patience!

Of course, folks then might be prone to mistake the word "patience" for similar-sounding "penis" (or they could just assume patience is an euphemism for cock), especially when used in conjunction with adjectives like thick and robust.

But come on now, except for vagina, what noun couldn’t be turned into a metaphor for the male sexual organ?

Again, you just have to bask in the wonder of language.

By now, I’d wager some of you must be having your patience worn thin as you ask yourself, "what is wojr’s point?" or more accurately "does he ever have a point?"

Well, I am extremely aware that it has been some time since I last posted anything on this blog or the website. Well, I apologize for that and thank those who have waited quietly and patiently for me to get back to my insipid, self-involved writing. To those loyal readers, I compliment you on the obvious thickness of your fortitude. Your patience clearly has the girth of a Mandingo sex fantasy.

To the rest of you that bitched and moaned, well, you all have small and peculiar dicks, especially when you take the time to closely examine them.

Even the ladies.

wojr

Labels: Advice, Snide Remarks, Viewer Mail, woj

  ¶ 8:21 PM 0 comments links to this post   

  Friday Morning Potpourri


In response to the bathroom etiquette dilemma, the only and most entertaining response came from Ryan "the Redneck" Cordwell:

Leave the shit wide ass open, no need to close.
Theres no doors on urinals, just 2 walls on the side,
same for the stall if ya pissing. As for the [euphemism for men who crave the penis],
there ain't too many in SC, so I really can't
say....Just keep 'em all in Cali though....

I think he might have been sipping the hooch when he wrote that.

On a serious note though, I posted another story on the website - The Ineffectual Man. This bad boy doesn't really fall into one of my preset categories. Basically, it is a short scene/film script, but one that I crafted so it could easily be turned into a short stage or comic piece. It's about a character that I will use again in the future - just need to find the time. Any and all comments are always welcomed.

Lastly, the hurricane known as Bronc will hit the left coast this weekend. So, after the finale of the LFP Interview today, my posts might be sporadic if not drunken in nature. (Rosie would probably think they would be funnier from my intoxicated state, but he likes the cruder humor. (How could it get cruder? Oh, it can.))

Of course, Bronc might just kill me as soon as he lands for all the Tigershark action figure posts. So, if there is no word from me by Monday, please call 911.

Thanks-

wojr

Labels: Bronc, Intoxication, My Writing, Snide Remarks, Viewer Mail

  ¶ 9:01 AM 0 comments links to this post   

  "Wojr.com's Second Piece of Hate Mail"

From a Michael Broncatello in response to 'The Merman Action Figure':

What the Hell!
That eunuch of a toy is not even remotely close to me! I look nothing like that Metrosexual anatomically incorrect piece of shit.
I wish to sue for copy right infringement as well as defamation of character.
There is only one Bronc and that definitely is not him!

Two angry letters down. How many more can we get???

Yeah, he did spell eunuch correctly.

wojr

Labels: Bronc, Viewer Mail

  ¶ 1:56 PM 0 comments links to this post   

  Wojr Mail Call

Continued comments on the "Attempted Wife-Swapping".

From Neerajimous Pai - "The swingers story rocked, especially for those of us who will never have such a thing happen to us (whereas for folks like Rosie and Claudine, or Rukus and fillintheblank, it happens three times a week). The really important question: what would the Wojr of ten years ago have done?"     He would have said something so incredibly inappropriate that no one would have slept with him.

From Phillip "Boom-Boom" O'Neil - "as much as i learned from you....there is much i still have yet to teach you my padawon learner."     Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I'll be attending the O'Neil School of Whore-Mongering and Polygamy. However, in Phil's defense, he does pretty well with the ladies despite referencing crappy Star Wars movies.

From some fellow named Kuffel - "You should of swung - [euphemism for female genitalia]!"     Not only is this man now a homeowner and a husband, but a parent, ladies and gentlemen. By the way, how was shoveling the snow last week, Kuffel? I think we had some clouds here in LA, but I can't be sure. All I remember was sunshine and sundresses.

Keep the mail coming people

wojr

Labels: Sex, Snide Remarks, Viewer Mail, Whores

  ¶ 1:44 PM 0 comments links to this post   

  "Wojr.com's First Piece of Hate Mail"

I will admit I've wanted a piece of Hate Mail for a long time now. I may be reaching but I think this one qualifies. It's full of bile and rage.

From a Michael Broncatello in response to my 'Swinger Adventure':

"How the hell is it that I'm finding out about this story with the rest of the filth and vermin? These are the kind of events which require an immediate update! Possible spouse swapping and midgets are a must know event."

One angry letter down. How many more can we get???

Also, I know I was a bit inebriated, but I don't recall any midgets involved. Or dwarves either.

wojr

Labels: Bronc, Sex, The Wee Folk, Viewer Mail

  ¶ 3:23 PM 0 comments links to this post   

  The Two Really Go Hand In Hand


First up..
As you may have noticed, there is no spot to post your comments to my rants and raves on this journal. One day you will. Right now though, I just don't have the time or know how to switch out to a more complicated blog interface. (Plus, this way, I remain a petty little dictator over what views are expressed.)

However, as you can see on the right, I have set up a new email account just for people's comments, remarks, rebuttals or just plain slander.

hatemail@wojr.com

Quality communications will be posted here, especially the bitter ones.

And second..

In keeping with the theme of the day, definitely not the way I would choose to go.

wojr

Labels: Viewer Mail

  ¶ 5:02 PM 0 comments links to this post